


Safe

by AllThingsMalec



Series: Obsession [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bodyguard Jace Wayland, M/M, Shy Simon Lewis, Simon has a slight Dom/Sub kink, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25729171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThingsMalec/pseuds/AllThingsMalec
Summary: Protecting Simon was supposed to be just a simple job to Jace until he realises that the last thing he wants is for Simon to be just another job.As the head of a hugely successful investment firm and the founder of a prominent foundation, Simon should be on top of the world...but, looks can be deceiving.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Series: Obsession [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866259
Comments: 8
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter: 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. A little backstory from Obsession as to how Jace and Simon met.
> 
> 2\. Chapter 2 will be posted in a couple of days.
> 
> 3\. I really hope you like it...
> 
> _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Jace, come on in,” Imogen said after shaking Jace’s hand. He nodded and followed his boss to the living room. Jace wasn’t surprised to see Raphael waiting there. Despite the man’s increasing focus on his family and medical career, he still had his fingers in every aspect of the vigilante group he’d founded.

Jace had never personally met the third man in the room, but he knew who he was. Imogen had already given him the heads-up that he was a close friend of hers and Raphael’s and that he was connected to the powerful Starkweather family.

“Jace, this is Hodge Starkweather,” Imogen said.

“Captain,” Jace said politely as he extended his hand to the man who’d risen from his position on the couch. He tilted his head at Jace, probably because Jace had used his formal title rather than his name.

“Please, call me Hodge,” he murmured as they shook hands. Jace already knew the man was in his late thirties, since he’d done as much research on him as he could once Imogen had told him about the meeting. Jace had spent the better part of the evening weeding through the murky family tree that was the Starkweather clan. Hodge had actually married into the family years earlier, though he wasn’t sure if marriage was the correct term, since he was in a relationship with two men at the same time. Jace had seen some news articles about Hodge and his partners, Lorenzo Rey and Andrew Underhill, having had some type of commitment ceremony, but he wasn’t about to ask about it.

It certainly wasn’t any of his business.

He was here to do a job, nothing more.

“Hodge,” he said with a nod.

Jace stepped past Hodge and shook Raphael’s hand, then took the chair that Raphael motioned to. It was a good spot because it would allow him to read Hodge’s expressions as he spoke. Despite the fact that he was close to Raphael and Imogen, Jace still wanted the ability to judge for himself how forthcoming the man was.

Hodge was a big guy and a good-looking one, but there was a certain weariness about him. Jace wondered if it had anything to do with why he’d been called in. The fact that he was a captain in the Police Department had piqued Jace’s interest from the get-go, since it wasn’t typical for a do-it-by-the-books cop to seek the help of guys like Raphael and Imogen.

After all, it wasn’t like what Jace and the other guys who worked for Raphael did was exactly above board.

“Hodge has asked us for assistance with a case,” Imogen began before deferring to Hodge.

Hodge swallowed hard and nodded. Jace had to wonder if whoever the subject was had some kind of personal connection to Hodge because he seemed pained as he tried to figure out where to start.

“His name is Simon Bane,” Hodge said. Imogen handed Jace a file folder and he quickly flipped it open. His eyes fell on the picture that was on top of the stack of papers. He quelled his reaction to the sight of the gorgeous man and promptly shut the folder again.

He’d have time to study the contents later. For now, he wanted to focus all his attention on the man asking for his help.

But the piercing brown eyes, hidden behind a pair of glasses, dark hair, and slender body from the photograph rode the edge of his vision as Hodge began speaking.

“We received a 911 call last night from the office of the foundation he runs. Simon was returning to the office to pick up something on his way home from a dinner meeting. He walked in on someone vandalizing the place and got roughed up.”

Jace’s fists automatically tightened on the folder in his hands. “Is he okay?” Jace asked quickly, despite his intent to remain emotionally detached from the police captain’s story.

“Couple of scrapes and bruises. He declined medical treatment.”

Jace nodded and ignored the need to fire more questions at Hodge.

He also ignored the innate desire to flip the folder open again so he could take in Simon’s image once more. Even now, Jace was wondering about the severity of his injuries.

It wasn’t a good sign.

“When I heard about the attack, I went down there myself,” Hodge said.

“You have a personal connection to him?” Jace asked.

Hodge paused and shifted his eyes to the ground briefly. “I do,” he said softly. Jace was surprised when Raphael settled his hand on Hodge’s shoulder.

“There’s no judgement here, Hodge,” Raphael said gently.

Hodge nodded. “Simon is the son of the man I was partnered with shortly after I got out of the police academy. His name was George. I wasn’t out back then, but George was. The department wasn’t exactly tolerant when it came to homosexuals on the force. George, he didn’t care, but I did. I knew what it meant.”

When Hodge seemed too pained to continue, Jace said, “Your brothers in blue wouldn’t have your back.”

Hodge nodded and then he was looking directly at Jace. “Raphael said you’d get it.”

Jace swallowed hard at that.

He got it all too well.

And that fact made it clear as to why he’d been chosen for this particular job.

Jace managed a nod in response, but nothing else.

“I asked to be assigned to a new partner. My request was granted,” Hodge continued. “When I next saw George, he’d been notified of the transfer and he...”

Hodge’s words fell off, but neither Raphael nor Imogen urged him to go on. It was a good thirty seconds before he did.

“He told me he understood and that he thought I was going to make a hell of a good cop. He was killed that night responding to a home invasion. His backup never showed up.”

Hodge took in a shuddering breath before he said, “No one in the department was ever disciplined for it. The higher-ups bought the story that the units who should have responded misunderstood the address dispatch gave them. The fuckers were joking about it the next day – said the best kind of…”

Hodge covered his mouth with his hand briefly, then forced the ugly words out. “The best kind of fag was a dead one.” Hodge paused, then explained, “I was one of two people who went to the funeral. The other was George’s boyfriend, Magnus. Turned out that George’s family had disowned him. Magnus didn’t know who I was at first, but afterward when he found out…”

Hodge’s voice dropped off and this time, he didn’t continue.

“George had a son?” Jace finally prodded.

He nodded. “Simon was adopted. He was just a boy when George died.”

It took Hodge several long beats before he seemed to collect himself. “Magnus started a successful investment firm and just recently handed the reins over to Simon. But from everything I’ve seen and heard, Simon’s true passion is the foundation.”

It didn’t surprise Jace one bit that Hodge had apparently been keeping tabs on George’s son. “What kind of foundation is it?” Jace asked.

“It focuses on the rights of LGBTQ individuals by providing legal support in discrimination and court cases. It also donates money to different causes and educates the community.”

Jace nodded in understanding. It was no surprise that the young man and his foundation would have been targeted. The support for same-sex relationships had grown in leaps and bounds over the years, but it was far from perfect.

“So, you think someone is targeting Simon?” Jace asked, suddenly eager to get started on his assignment. Even the idea that danger could be stalking Simon Bane at this very moment was making him antsy.

“It’s not the first time the place has been vandalized, but I think it’s the first time he’s been directly attacked. I don’t think he wanted me to know it, but he seemed really spooked by the whole thing. But when I offered to beef up patrols in the neighbourhood, he told me not to bother.” Hodge’s tone made it clear why Simon had declined the offer – the young man clearly doubted the cops would take any better care of him than they had his father.

Hodge’s eyes held Jace’s as he said, “I just need to make sure it was a onetime thing. I owe it to Magnus… and George.”

“Understood,” Jace said. “Why not just put some police protection on him?

“Simon shares his father’s hatred of all things police. I doubt he would have even reported the incident last night if a passer-by hadn’t seen what was happening and called 911. When we arrived, he wasn’t exactly cooperative… or welcoming. Not that I can really blame him.”

I just… I need to know the threat to Simon, if there is one, is taken care of. But he can’t know I’m involved—”

“He won’t,” Jace cut in. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Though Jace didn’t have any kind of personal connection with Hodge, he owed it to Raphael and Imogen to make sure this job didn’t go sideways. “I’ll find a way to get close to him without him being the wiser,” Jace murmured before glancing at Imogen and Raphael. Both of them nodded and Jace knew that they were trusting him to figure out the best way to get into Simon’s inner circle. Jace stood and held his hand out to Hodge. “I’ll keep him safe,” Jace said.

Hodge rose, nodded, then took his hand. “For George,” he whispered.

“For George,” Jace agreed, though he knew in his gut that it wasn’t just the obligation to the fallen officer that would have him keeping Simon safe.

It was a reality he didn’t want to deal with, so he tucked the folder under his arm before saying his goodbyes to Raphael and Imogen.

_Time to figure out who exactly Simon Bane was and how to keep him from meeting his father’s fate._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Keep it together, Si,” Simon murmured to himself as he stepped into the ballroom. He wiped his sweaty palms on the scratchy surface of his costume and then cursed the fact that he even had to do it in the first place. He allowed himself a few seconds to focus on his breathing, which quelled the anxiety that was threatening to overtake him, then stepped farther into the room. On most days, the breathing technique helped, but the combination of startled looks sent his way and the quiet murmurs that followed as he began weaving his way through the small crowd had his nerves returning tenfold almost instantly.

Simon had never been one for social gatherings of any kind, but they were a necessary evil in his line of work. When it came to managing the investment firm his dad had started and that he’d eventually taken over, Simon had no issue with delegating the public speaking events to the senior officers. But the foundation was different. It was his baby and he wasn’t willing to sacrifice it for the sake of his fear of social engagements.

So being the center of attention at a fundraiser such as this one should have been the norm, but between the bruises on his face and the constant need to scan his surroundings to watch for an impending attack, he was on edge more than normal.

As he began greeting the patrons, ignoring their colorful and sometimes downright ridiculous Halloween costumes as he went, his mind drifted to the events of the night before. He hadn’t exactly been honest with the police when they’d questioned him about the incident. He’d told them he walked in on the vandals, but in reality, they’d followed him into the office, forcing their way inside as soon as he opened the door. He knew as soon as the bigger of the two men had wrapped his fingers around Simon’s throat that they hadn’t been there to rough him up because they disagreed with his foundation’s mission.

It would have been better if they had been.

No, their motivation had been much less complicated than hatred and a hell of a lot more dangerous.

A shiver filtered through his body as he remembered the veiled threat that had been whispered in his ear right after the Good Samaritan’s voice had called through the front door that he was calling for help.

_You have three days_.

He hadn’t needed three days. At least not to figure out what they’d been after. They’d made that part pretty clear by casting one last parting shot his way right before a beefy fist had connected with his jaw for the final time.

 _Stealing from Mr. Valentine was your first mistake, Bane. Don’t make it your last_.

Two days.

He had two days left to figure out how to fix the cluster-fuck he’d been thrust into. And he had to do it while pretending life was trudging along as usual.

Which meant getting through the next few hours. Then he’d be back at his computer trying to track down Mr. Valentine’s missing money.

He was so busy mentally planning his next steps that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. When his body ran right into a hard wall, he let out an “oomph” at the same time the wall grabbed a hold of him.

_Okay, so not a wall._

His already dry mouth went drier as he took in the man he was currently pressed up against in what would have been considered an intimate embrace in any other situation.

“You okay?” came the deep voice that held just the slightest rasp to it. The strong fingers that were currently wrapped around his upper arms burned right through the thin material of his costume and threatened to singe his skin. Pulse after pulse of energy flared up and down his arms.

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “Sorry,” he mumbled as he let his eyes rake over him. He was slightly taller and looked at around Simon’s age, but that was pretty much where the similarities between them ended. Even within the folds of his costume, Simon could tell he had a ripped body.

Hell, Simon was practically still pressed up against it, so there was no doubting that the ridges he was feeling were miles and miles of well-defined muscles. His mismatched eyes were striking and his blonde hair made Simon want to run his fingers through it.

“No problem,” he said, a slight smile spreading across his beautiful mouth.

_God, even his teeth were perfect._

Simon knew he needed to step back, but even as he leaned back a little, the guy seemed reluctant to release him and Simon found himself unable to follow through on the move. The ballroom had disappeared completely, as had the dozens and dozens of partygoers. There were no hot lights raining down on him, no fear of the behemoth from the night before showing up to finish what he’d started, no worries about the speech Simon was expected to make tonight thanking people for donating so generously.

It was just him and the painfully beautiful man holding him.

And the warmth that was filtering through his body.

He was dimly aware of the man talking, but he couldn’t make sense of what he was saying.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

It wasn’t until he felt the gentle press of fingers into his upper arms that Simon realized the guy was rubbing circles into his skin. Even as he cursed the fact that he couldn’t feel his actual touch, he jolted back to awareness.

“I’m sorry, what?” Simon asked dumbly.

_Jesus, I needed to get it together._

The man chuckled slightly and the sound went straight to Simon’s long-neglected dick.

“I said, ‘Nothing is True; Everything is Permitted.’”

The familiar motto brought a shimmer of reality back and Simon fought off the fog of confusion. It was only when his eyes skimmed the guy’s entire body again that his statement made sense.

Simon laughed.

_And fuck if it didn’t feel amazing._

“Aguilar,” Simon said with a smile as he took in his costume.

“Ezio,” the man said in all seriousness, as if they really were members of the secret brotherhood of assassins from Simon’s favourite video game series, Assassin’s Creed.

Simon knew he needed to say something else, but he couldn’t stop staring at him.

The feeling seemed to be mutual, because his eyes never left Simon’s. Not even when he released one of Simon’s arms to carefully push Simon’s hood off. The guy’s fingers skimmed his unbruised cheek slightly as he lowered his hand again.

Back to Simon’s arm.

Thank God for that.

_Fuck, what the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I move?_

_Why was it so damn hard to breathe? Why did my body feel like it was going to go up in flames?_

“Simon?”

It wasn’t until the man finally stepped back just a little bit that Simon realized the guys holding hadn’t been the one to say his name. Why would he? He didn’t even know Simon’s name.

“Simon.”

“Yeah?” he said absentmindedly as he held onto the other man’s gaze. At some point Jace’s hands had slid down until they were encircling Simon’s wrists.

“Simon.”

It was the humour in the voice that finally got through to Simon, and he tore his eyes from the man standing just inches from him and turned to see his friend, Bat, and his husband Jordan watching Simon with amusement.

“What?” Simon asked as the haze of lust began to ease. “What?” He said more loudly as he tugged his hands free of the man’s warm hold.

“Hi,” Bat said with a knowing smile. If Simon hadn’t been so embarrassed, he would have laughed at the costumes Bat and his burly husband were wearing.

Popeye and Olive Oyl.

Only Bat was dressed as Popeye and his hulking, big husband was Olive Oyl.

“Um, hi,” Simon stammered. “Hi.”

Bat chuckled, as did his husband. “Hi,” he repeated. “Looks like a great turnout tonight.”

“Yeah,” Simon said. It was only then that he realized that the man and he hadn’t been lost in their own little world in some remote corner of the ballroom. No, they’d been smack-dab in the middle of it, surrounded by chattering partygoers and the benefactors he did business with every day.

“Great costumes,” Bat said as he motioned between Simon and the other man. “They’re from that video game, right? Did you guys plan this?”

“No!” Simon blurted out. “I mean, yes… no… fuck.” Simon could feel the heat suffusing his cheeks as all three men stared at him with open humour. He shook his head and blew out his breath. “Yes, they’re from Assassin’s Creed, but no, we didn’t plan this. We just met,” Simon said lamely as he looked at the blond man whose eyes held his.

“It was a happy coincidence,” the guy said softly, right before he sent Simon a sexy little wink.

_Oh God, the things that wink inspired._

“Yeah,” Simon agreed, though he wasn’t sure what he was even agreeing to.

He really needed to get a grip. “You guys look great,” Simon managed to say as he forced his attention back to Bat.

“I lost a bet,” Jordan murmured before he tucked his husband up against his side and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Not that I’m complaining,” he added, his voice going husky. A heated look flared between the two men and Simon had to work really hard to temper the envy that went through him. What would it be like to have someone look at him like that? To have them say something to him and mean something else entirely – something that only he and Simon would understand?

Bat’s hand settled on his husband’s stomach as they stared at each other for a moment, then he shifted his attention back to Simon. “We, ah, heard about what happened last night,” Bat said softly as his eyes landed on Simon’s face. “Do you need anything?”

Simon knew what he was really asking and he’d been expecting it. The foundation had been targeted with random acts of vandalism a few times and each time Bat had found out, he’d offered to talk to the security company about beefing up the security for the office.

“Cost of doing business,” Simon said. “You know that.”

Bat nodded sadly.

Bat let his fingers twine through his husband’s as he said, “Well, we wanted to wish you luck on your speech – you’re going to do great.”

Bat was one of the few people who’d figured out what a fraud Simon was when it came to public speaking. He put on a good show, but Bat knew how wrecked Simon got standing in front of so many people, their undivided attention on him. Even the thought of it had Simon’s breathing ticking up again.

“Thanks,” he managed to get out.

“Okay, we’ll let you get back to it,” Bat said. “It was nice to meet you,” he added, his eyes on the man standing silently across from Simon.

At Bat’s unspoken question, the man reached out his hand and said, “Jace. Jace Lightwood.”

“Nice to meet you, Jace,” Bat said with a nod, then shook his hand. Simon barely noticed the couple wandering off to mingle with others because Jace’s eyes were back on him.

“Well, I should go say my hellos to the other guests,” Simon said. “It was really nice to meet you.”

Simon took a step back, but before he could turn away, Jace was stepping into his space. “We didn’t. Not really.”

“Didn’t what?” Simon managed to ask, though having the man once again just inches from him was making it so damn hard to breathe again.

“Meet.”

“Oh,” Simon said dumbly. “I’m, uh, Simon. Simon Bane.” Simon put out his hand and it was immediately engulfed in a strong, warm grip that he felt all over his body. He’d been attracted to his fair share of guys over the years, but even the best sex he’d ever had couldn’t compare to what this man was able to do to him with the simplest of touches. Simon both wanted to investigate it further and run as far from it as he could.

“Simon,” Jace murmured.

That was it. Just his name. No “Nice to meet you.” No “Pleasure’s mine.”

No formalities whatsoever.

Just his name spoken in such a way that he was pretty sure the guy had just found an untapped erogenous zone.

“Jace,” Simon said. He’s said his name so he could test how it sounded, but it came out more like a breathless plea.

And Simon wasn’t the only one who’d heard it.

Jace’s eyes went impossibly dark and his mouth parted just a little. Then suddenly, his fingers were tightening around Simon’s and he was turning away from him.

But not to walk away.

No, nothing like that.

To steal him away.

And Simon went willingly.

Hell, he would have likely kneed anyone in the privates if they’d tried to stop them.

Jace’s strong fingers threaded through his as they weaved through the crowd. It wasn’t until they broke free of the warm bodies that he realized where he was taking him.

And he wanted to scream his thanks to the heavens.

There was next to no foot traffic near the alcove he practically dragged Simon into. A huge potted plant covered in dancing orange and white lights hid their bodies from view as he pressed Simon back against the wall. Jace’s body was flush with Simon’s and there was just no missing what the folds of his costume were able to hide.

Just like the folds of Simon’s costume hid his.

Simon groaned when Jace’s hardness brushed his and he automatically put his hands on Jace’s waist.

To stop him from pulling away?

To keep himself upright?

Simon wasn’t sure and he honestly didn’t care. He cared about absolutely nothing in that moment except getting Jace’s mouth on his.

But Jace didn’t kiss him. Instead, his fingers came up to touch the bruise on Simon’s jaw, then the one on his cheek. It wasn’t until his thumb gently toyed with the marred flesh of Simon’s throat where his attacker had held him in his merciless grip that Simon let out an almost obscene whimper. Twenty-four hours ago, he’d been in this same position and he’d been scared out of his mind at what would happen when those beefy fingers wrapped around his throat. Now all he wanted was Jace’s strong hand encircling that same spot.

It made no sense whatsoever.

“Please,” Simon whispered.

He had no clue what the hell was wrong with him, but he knew the thing that would fix it was in this man’s possession. He would know what to do. He would know what Simon needed.

Simon closed his eyes when Jace’s fingers gently closed around his throat. The pressure that he applied was only enough that Simon could feel it, not fear it.

And just like that, the anxiety slid from his body like a hot, heavy blanket he’d been carrying around his entire life and had been waiting until this very moment to shed.

It was insanity.

And Simon never wanted it to end.

But of course, it had to.

_All dreams did._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jace was barely keeping it together and he had no clue how he was managing it.

Because between Simon’s hot, lithe body practically rubbing against his, his lust-filled eyes glazing over the more he held Simon in place against the wall, and the breathy whimpers that were falling from Simon’s supple lips as Jace toyed with how much pressure he applied to his throat, Jace was ready to turn him around and fuck him right then and there. It was only the reddened skin of his throat and the slightly darker oval spots just below his jaw that kept Jace’s lust in check.

_The fucker had held him like this._

But not to bring him pleasure.

Never in a million years would Jace have guessed that someone like Simon Bane was so naturally submissive. He doubted even Simon knew what his body was craving.

On paper, the man was the epitome of success. Undergrad and graduate degrees from Ivy League schools, loads of cash in the bank, and a list of personal and professional accomplishments a mile long. Despite the anxiety Jace had gotten a glimpse of tonight, Simon carried himself with an air of confidence and authority. But whatever masks he wore in public, they were falling by the wayside the longer he spent in his presence.

And _his_ mask wasn’t the only one that was slipping.

They were as different as night and day, but at this moment, Jace was more in tune with him than he’d ever been with another living soul.

And that was a serious fucking problem.

Yeah, he’d orchestrated running into him and used their mutual costumes to jump-start a conversation, but somehow, they’d shot right past formalities and were working their way to ending up wrapped around each other in a tangle of hot, sweaty, sexually-sated bodies.

Fuck, he just wanted one taste. Jace was already leaning in when he managed to catch himself. He forced enough space between their bodies to keep from rubbing his cock against his. He let his mouth settle next to Simon’s ear and couldn’t help but nip at the soft skin just behind it before whispering, “Who hurt you, Simon?”

For someone lost in a haze of passion, Simon recovered quickly because he stiffened at Jace’s words. Jace wasn’t ready for the loss, so he shamelessly pressed his body against Simon’s and then licked the shell of his ear. Jace still had his hand around his throat, so he could feel his pulse hammering just beneath his skin. One of the hands he had at Jace’s waist slid up his back and threaded through his hair. He was clearly enjoying Jace’s ministrations because he cocked his head to the side, ever so slightly, in invitation. Jace gave him what he wanted and gently played with the skin behind his ear, then beneath it, before trailing his lips over his jawline. Simon let out a breathy moan as Jace lifted his mouth, but when Jace didn’t kiss him like he so obviously wanted, he opened his eyes.

“Who hurt you, Simon?” Jace asked again.

This time when he tensed up, Jace was prepared and he tightened his hold on his throat. Not enough to hurt him, but to show him Jace was in control.

And that for once, Simon didn’t need to be.

But even though Jace owned his body in that moment, Simon’s mind was still fighting him and Simon finally shook his head. “No one. I’m fine, really.”

The tremor in his voice said otherwise, but Jace knew he’d lose him if he pressed him too hard. Jace had to get back to the original objective.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jace asked suggestively.

Jace knew what his answer would be, but he’d planted the question for a reason. He wasn’t exactly proud of what he was doing, but he wasn’t exactly lying about it, either.

Jace really did want to get out of there with him.

“I… I can’t. I have to mingle. I have this speech…”

“After,” Jace suggested as he began rubbing his thumb over Simon’s pulse, which had slowed only slightly.

“I shouldn’t,” he murmured half-heartedly.

Jace knew it would be easy to convince him with something as simple as a kiss.

But nothing about kissing Simon would be simple.

Jace knew it in his bones.

And he knew the first time that he kissed him, it wouldn’t be like this… here. It wouldn’t be about rushing through the inherent perfection of tasting him just to get him to agree to something. It would happen when there was no risk of losing him to his obligations and when Jace wouldn’t have to be aware of their surroundings.

Jace would only have to be aware of Simon and what Simon needed from him.

And what he could and would give Jace in return.

“After,” Jace repeated, his voice firm.

Simon finally managed a nod and Jace once again put some space between them. He heard a woman’s voice come over the PA system, but he doubted Simon even noticed because his fingers were playing with the hair at the nape of Jace’s neck. It felt so good that Jace was once again tempted to just drag him out of there, fundraiser be damned.

And he knew Simon would follow.

Jace put his mouth next to his ear again and said, “They’re calling you.” It took him a good ten seconds to make sense of Jace’s words.

“Shit,” Simon said as he scrambled to move away. The anxiety slid over him like a familiar cloak and Jace hated it. So he didn’t hesitate to tighten his hold on his throat and pin him against the wall until he stilled.

Fortunately, there was no fear in Simon’s eyes as he focused them on Jace.

“Talk to me,” Jace said firmly. At his questioning look, Jace glanced over his shoulder at the ballroom and explained, “When you’re up there, you find me and you talk only to me. Do you understand me? No one else.”

Jace wasn’t sure if Simon was reacting to the possessiveness in his voice or the permission he was giving him to escape the pressure of having to deal with the sea of faces that would all be focused on him, but it didn’t really matter. Jace had accomplished what he’d set out to do because he relaxed, then nodded.

“Good,” Jace said. “When you’re finished, you and I are leaving. You can tell people you aren’t feeling well. I don’t care where we go, just as long as it’s you and me. _Just_ you and me.”

Jace knew he was being high-handed, but he’d seen enough to suspect that was exactly what Simon needed tonight. He doubted it was something Simon was looking for twenty-four-seven and he had absolutely no desire for a relationship built on that particular dynamic, but Jace would give him whatever he needed to get him through tonight.

So he could meet the real Simon.

The one he’d only gotten glimpses of so far.

Jace stepped away from him and immediately hated the loss of contact as he dropped his hand from Simon’s throat. So instead, Jace wrapped his fingers around Simon’s and, not caring who was watching, led him past the crowd toward the front of the ballroom where there was a small stage and a single microphone. Once they reached it, a young woman dressed as a strawberry darted onto the stage and announced him. Jace gave Simon’s fingers a gentle squeeze before he let him go. His eyes held Jace’s for a moment and Jace felt a measure of satisfaction at how clear and calm they looked.

During Jace’s research earlier in the afternoon, he’d found a couple of YouTube videos for speeches he’d done at local events and while to most Simon likely seemed composed, Jace had been able to see the uncertainty in his stance and he’d heard the unevenness in his voice. As he stepped onto the stage, Jace saw a confident young man and when he began speaking, there was only the slightest hint of self-doubt. But as soon as Simon’s eyes searched him out and stayed on him, his voice evened out. He was poised enough to subconsciously keep looking back at the rest of the crowd, but Jace could tell he wasn’t seeing them and he was quick to return his eyes to Jace.

Yeah, he was definitely only seeing Jace.

Jace was arrogantly pleased by that, even though he knew he probably shouldn’t be. He hadn’t ever been in an actual relationship before, so he’d never felt any kind of moment where it seemed like you were the sole focus of someone else’s world.

Simon was giving that to him.

Jace knew it wasn’t real, but he didn’t care.

He’d take what he could get.

Because even if he’d wanted it to be real, it couldn’t be.

And wasn’t that just a fucking shame?

* * *

Simon’s anxiety had returned the moment he’d stepped off the stage and approached Jace and it was growing worse and worse with every moment he spent in Jace’s presence. He’d hidden it well as they’d matriculated through the crowd so he could mingle for a bit and give his excuses for needing to leave early, but the second Jace had taken his hand to lead him from the building, he’d gone rigid with tension. If Jace hadn’t known better, he would have thought Simon was afraid of him, and if his eyes had been darting around them as they walked, Jace would have attributed his nerves to the attack he’d endured the night before. But his gaze was practically glued to the ground as they walked.

“You okay?” Jace asked as he gave Simon’s hand a little tug to get his attention.

“What? Oh, um, yeah,” he said. His eyes met Jace’s only briefly before falling again. They’d left the hotel where the party had been held a few minutes earlier and were making their way down to the waterfront to check out the marketplace and pier. Although it was dark out, the weather was mild and dry, so they decided to walk. The streets around them were busy with foot and car traffic. Since it was the night before Halloween, a large number of people were dressed in costumes like them.

Not satisfied with Simon’s response, Jace tugged him into the doorway of a small shop. The shop itself was closed, but there was enough light from the street lamp and the single row of lights the shop owner had left on to see Simon’s expression as Jace forced him back against the wall. Thankfully, the spot afforded them a little bit of privacy.

“Try again,” Jace ordered gently as he crowded his way into Simon’s space. He showed no sign of being afraid of Jace, so Jace lifted his hands and settled them on Simon’s waist. Jace cursed the fabric of his costume, because there was just no easy way to get his fingers beneath the material to test the softness of his skin.

“I don’t do this,” Simon finally said.

“Do what?”

“Leave parties with strangers. Do whatever it is we’re going to do.”

Jace smiled at that. “What is it you think we’re going to do?” Jace asked.

He could see a hint of colour flood Simon’s skin. “Noth…nothing,” Simon said quickly. “I just…”

God, he was adorable when he got all flustered. Jace lifted one hand and settled it on the wall next to his head. The move had him caging Simon in even more and he wasn’t surprised when it actually relaxed him rather than made him more tense.

“This,” he whispered as he drew in a deep breath. “I don’t do this.”

Jace knew what he was talking about and was actually surprised he’d had the guts to bring it up.

“I don’t let guys put their hand on my throat and like it so damn much that I think I must be going crazy,” he murmured. “I don’t let them pin me against walls and wish for more. I don’t let them tell me what to do or that I’m leaving with them or to only talk to them while I’m giving a speech.”

“Are you ashamed of it?” Jace asked as he lifted his free hand and began skimming his fingers from Simon’s jawline, down his throat, to his collarbone.

“I don’t even know what _it_ is,” Simon whispered, his voice strangled.

And that was the crux of it. Jace already guessed as much, but Simon was the kind of guy who planned for everything. For all Jace knew, Simon was a complete and utter control freak.

Which wasn’t a bad thing, since it was an attribute that would serve someone like him well in his professional life. After all, he’d taken over the reins of a hugely successful business at a very young age and he’d taken it a step further and started an organization that would benefit others. An organization that Jace highly suspected was a tribute to Simon’s late father.

“It’s okay to let go sometimes, Simon. To let someone else shoulder the burden,” Jace said softly. “Whether it’s for a few minutes, a few hours, or even a lifetime – it doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t mean you failed.”

“You’re not someone,” he returned. “I don’t know you. The things I let you do back there,” – his eyes shifted back in the direction of the hotel – “the things I still want to let you do to me… it’s wrong. It’s not who I am.”

Jace ignored his body’s response to Simon’s comment about the things he wanted Jace to do to him and pulled back just enough to give him some breathing room, since Jace wanted to make sure Simon really heard what he had to say.

“First off, giving control over to someone else isn’t wrong if it’s something you choose to do… if it’s something you need. If it’s something the person you’re giving it to respects and honours. It takes more strength to give control than to keep it. And I don’t pretend to understand what this thing is between us, but you giving me that kind of gift – that trust – hell yeah, I’m taking it. Every. Single. Time. And not because I’m some Neanderthal caveman who has to dominate his guy, but because I know just how hard it was for you to do it. And how badly you needed to do it.”

Jace saw Simon’s eyes widen when he indirectly referred to him as his guy, but managed to ignore the need to show him that that was exactly what he was coming to think of Simon as.

Because it wasn’t possible.

Not in the short time they’d spent together.

And more importantly, because Jace was a fucking fraud. Even if what had gone down in that alcove had nothing to do with his job, it wouldn’t matter to Simon if he discovered the truth.

_God, I’d really fucked this up._

And Jace was going to keep fucking it up because even after all of that, he still couldn’t let him go. He couldn’t take the step back that he needed to in order to keep some distance between them, both literal and metaphorical.

“As for the not knowing me part, we’re about to fix that. Because believe it or not, right now, as badly as I want to fuck you until neither of us can move, I want the answer to a question more.”

“What… what question?”

Jace leaned forward until his lips were by Simon’s ear. Predictably, his breathing spiked at the close contact. “Who are you, Simon Bane, and what do I have to do to keep you?” Jace pulled back and said, “If that’s something you don’t want to answer, then tell me now—”

“I do,” he cut in. “I have no idea why, but I do.”

It was ridiculous how relieved Jace felt. “Good,” he murmured. “Now, let’s deal with the last thing that’s going to keep you from relaxing.” Jace's eyes automatically fell to his mouth as he said, “I’m not going to kiss you tonight.”

Jace swore he heard a little whimper bubble up from Simon’s throat, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Jace—” he began, but he put his finger over his lips to silence him, because he knew what he was going to say.

“No,” Jace said firmly. “We’re not just going to get it over with.” He let his finger test the softness of his bottom lip. “When I taste you for the first time, it’s…” Jace shook his head. “Not fucking rushing it,” Jace finally ground out, because even now, he was fighting the need to lean in and seal his mouth over Simon’s.

Instead, Jace reached down to grab his hand. “Let’s go.”

Jace didn’t give him a chance to say no, because he knew Simon didn’t want that. And he knew that wouldn’t have been his answer, anyway. Simon was noticeably more relaxed as they made their way down the sidewalk, which pleased him to no end. But his own tension was through the roof when he spotted the familiar figure on the other side of the street. Even in the darkness, Jace knew what he’d see in those eyes. He knew what question would fall from the lips pulled into a stern frown.

_What the hell are you doing, Jace?_

It was a good question. A damn good one.

_One I didn’t have an answer for and doubted I would anytime soon._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Who are you, Simon Bane, and what do I have to do to keep you?_

It was a question Simon knew Jace hadn’t really meant, at least not that last part. It had been him getting caught up in the moment, nothing more.

Because shit like this didn’t happen in real life.

It was the physical chemistry talking. It was the rush of endorphins from finding someone who had some kind of pull on you that you’d never experienced before. Most, if not all, of what Simon was feeling was the anticipation – the rush of wondering if it was the real deal, even though deep down he knew it wasn’t. Because you didn’t meet your other half within a handful of minutes at a Halloween-themed benefit.

Jace might have liked what he saw in that hotel alcove and again in the doorway of the darkened shop, but it wasn’t real. Simon wasn’t that guy. And once Jace found out who he really was, he’d come up with some excuse to end the evening early and this whole thing would finally be over and Simon could get back to being boring, uptight, afraid-to-fail Simon Bane.

_God, why was I even doing this?_

Simon needed to be at his computer trying to track down the huge sum of cash that had gone missing from the account of one of the firm’s biggest clients.

He was about to turn and tell Jace that he needed to go, when they reached the doorway of the small diner and Jace opened the door for him.

He opened the door for him.

_Fuck, it really was a date._

A date in which he’d taken sex off the table so Simon wouldn’t have to obsess over it anymore.

Which was what he’d been doing.

Because in addition to all his other less than desirable qualities, Simon wasn’t even a good lay.

“Jace,” Simon said as he stepped into the diner, but his words died in his throat when Jace put his hand at the small of Simon’s back and steered him in the direction of a booth near the back of the restaurant.

“Yeah?” Jace said.

_I can’t do this. I should go_.

“I’ve never been here before. Is it good?” Simon asked lamely.

Jace waited until Simon sat down on one side of the booth before he took the other side. Their legs bumped beneath the table, but when Simon moved his out of the way, Jace’s followed until his calf was pressed up against one of Simon’s.

_Jesus, he was killing me._

“First thing you need to know about me,” Jace said in lieu of answering the question directly, “is that I love breakfast for dinner. Pancakes, cereal, eggs, doesn’t matter. If you offer it to me at the dinner hour, I’m putty in your hands.”

Simon smiled and said, “Duly noted. What should I make you for breakfast?” Jace’s mouth pulled into a little smirk and Simon felt his cheeks heat. “I mean, not actual breakfast, like, at my place or anything. Just in general… what are your breakfast eating habits in general?”

_Breakfast eating habits? Jesus, Si, shut the fuck up right fucking now!_

Jace’s leg bumped his under the table and Simon realized he’d done it to get his attention, because when he looked up from where he’d dropped his eyes to stare at the ugly green Formica table-top, Jace sent him what he could only classify as a look of pride.

“I usually work out in the morning, so I typically just have a protein shake. What about you?”

“Oh, well, just coffee. I’m usually out the door pretty early and things are always hectic by the time I get to work.”

The waitress appeared. “What’ll you boys have?” she asked. She was an older woman with silvery hair that was in some kind of weird up-do that lent itself to the whole sixties theme the diner had going on.

Jace ordered a coffee and a breakfast platter that included pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage.

“What about you, honey?” the waitress asked Simon.

He had no clue what possessed him to do it, but he looked at Jace.

And something happened in that moment.

The same thing that had happened in that alcove.

Jace’s eyes held his for the longest time and Simon knew this time it would have to be his choice. Simon’s mind was telling him not to go there, but deep down in his belly, something began to loosen and unfurl the longer Jace held his gaze.

_It’s okay to let go sometimes, Simon. To let someone else shoulder the burden. Whether it’s for a few minutes, a few hours, or even a lifetime – it doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t mean you failed_.

What Simon did next wasn’t about the food. In truth, he didn’t care what he ate. No, it was about something else. It was about giving himself permission to feel something he never had. To give to someone else the things that sometimes became too much for him to hang onto.

Giving it to Jace was safe because he’d never see him again after tonight. Simon knew that in his heart. He wasn’t sure what act of fate had decided to bring them together for the evening, but real life would return soon enough. He’d go back to getting everything right tomorrow. Tonight, he’d let Jace do what he’d offered.

Take some of that burden.

And maybe he’d finally be able to breathe again.

He ignored the way the waitress was tapping her pen on her pad and kept his eyes latched on Jace’s. When he tilted his head just the slightest bit, Jace immediately said, “He’ll have the same, but instead of sausage, give him another order of bacon.”

Simon smiled at that and leaned back against the booth. As soon as the waitress left, he said, “I love bacon.”

“I know,” Jace responded, his eyes twinkling.

“How?”

He leaned against the table, arms folded, like he was about to tell Simon a secret. And Simon did the same.

“You have a tell when something excites you, did you know that?”

Simon shook his head, but before he could say anything, Jace reached across the table and ran his fingers over one of Simon’s hands. Simon pulled in a breath, then swallowed hard.

“There it is,” he said softly, his eyes on Simon.

“What? I swallow?” Simon asked stupidly.

The rough pads of Jace’s fingers felt so good against his skin that he barely managed to suppress a moan.

“That too,” Jace said with a chuckle. “But no, it’s your eyes. They light up – like you’re seeing something for the first time.”

“So, I’m like Pavlov’s dog?” Simon asked with a chuckle. “But instead of responding to the sound of a metronome, I hear the word bacon and I get all hopped up with excitement?”

“A metronome? I thought it was a bell.”

Simon shook his head. “Classic mistake. He used a metronome.” Simon flushed and said, “Sorry, I’m full of useless facts like that. In case you missed it, I’m a bit of a nerd.”

Jace began playing with one of Simon’s hands. His finger stroked up and down the length of each one of Simon’s over and over.

“I’m finding I’ve got a serious thing for nerds… well, one nerd in particular,” Jace said huskily.

Simon had no clue how long they sat there like that for before the waitress returned with their coffee. The interruption forced them apart and Simon leaned back in his seat until she left, then began preparing his coffee.

“So besides being able to kick my ass at trivia and your excellent costume selection choices, tell me what makes you tick.”

Simon smiled. “Not even going to ease me in, huh?” Simon asked.

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m not real good on easing anything,” he said with a self-deprecating smile.

_Thank God for that_.

“Well, um, I guess you already know about the foundation, since you were at the benefit. What were you doing there, by the way? I don’t recognize your name.”

“Afraid I crashed it?” Jace asked.

Simon chuckled. “No, it’s just, in my line of work I tend to know who’s who.” Simon paused and let his eyes rake over Jace, finally feeling a little more confident as he took in Jace’s beauty. “Believe me, I would have remembered someone like you.”

“I got my ticket from my employer. He and his wife couldn’t attend, so they offered the tickets up to the first takers at work.”

“What kind of work do you do?”

“Construction.”

Simon nodded, but didn’t comment.

“What?” Jace asked.

“Nothing.”

“Nuh-uh, Simon. Doesn’t work like that. Not tonight, anyway.”

Simon sighed. “You don’t look like you work in construction. If I had to guess, I would have said you were a soldier… or a cop.”

“What makes you say that?”

Simon forced his eyes up from where he’d been toying with his coffee cup. “You act relaxed, but I can tell you’re aware of everything that’s happening around us. When we came in, you picked this booth, even though there were some closer to the door. It’s near the back exit, right? And you took that side so you could see anyone coming through the front door.”

Jace studied him for a long moment, his already dark eyes going even darker. “I was a soldier,” he finally said.

Since he could tell Jace wasn’t much older than him, he couldn’t help but wonder why someone in his prime wasn’t still in that line of work. But it wasn’t any of his business.

“I received a medical discharge and never went back.”

It shouldn’t have surprised Simon that Jace knew what he’d been thinking. “Sorry,” Simon said. “It’s none of my business.”

“Yes, it is,” he said. “Trust goes two ways, Simon. I can’t expect you to hand over pieces of yourself and not give back the things that make me who I am.”

Simon’s heart swelled at that, but he tried to quell the emotion. There was no way Jace was feeling what he was. Not yet.

_Probably not ever._

Simon forced the self-doubt away and said, “What happened?”

Despite Jace being someone who was always aware of his surroundings, he hadn’t yet looked tense. Now, though, it was hard to miss. His shoulders straightened and Simon saw him raise his hand to his head before slowly pulling it back. The move was odd – like he was trying to break himself of a habit. He leaned forward in the booth again and said, “I was in Germany. We’d just finished a mission and were preparing to head home after our debriefing. I was in Special Forces.”

Simon didn’t pressure him to continue when he fell silent. But he did reach across the table to cover Jace’s hand with his. His skin was cold, so Simon automatically gathered Jace’s hand up into his and began rubbing. Jace’s other hand was buried in his lap, so Simon couldn’t give it the same treatment.

“I was with some of the members of my unit at this bar, but I was tired so I decided to call it a night. I was heading back to my hotel when I was jumped in the alley behind this abandoned building nearby. There were too many of them to fight. I was in and out of consciousness from the beating, but they made sure I was awake when they shot me the first time… and the second.”

If Simon hadn’t been holding Jace’s hand, he would have covered his mouth as the horror trickled through him.

“I was unconscious for the third shot. The kill shot. But the fuckers were drunk, so they missed,” Jace said as he pulled Simon’s hand up and pressed one of his fingers against his head. Simon could feel the scar that was just above his temple and hidden by his hair.

“Who?” Simon whispered in horror. “Why?”

“My own men.”

“What?” Simon gasped in disbelief. “Why? Why would they do this?” Simon asked as he caressed the scar. In his mind, Simon knew he wasn’t in any danger anymore, but in his heart, it was like it had just happened.

“It was to get back at someone else. Someone I loved and someone who loved me.”

“Who?”

“My brother, Alec.”

“You have a brother?”

Jace nodded. “He’s older than me. He was the team leader. I didn’t know it at the time, but he’d discovered that several of the guys on the team had sexually assaulted several village women and girls while on our mission. He’d already started the process of having them court-martialled. They were to be arrested as soon as we got back to the States. Somehow, they found out and came after me. They knew Alec would come looking for me, so they laid in wait for him, then jumped him. But their drunk asses weren’t any match for him. He killed three of them, put three more in the hospital and the rest got away, only to be picked up later by the MPs.”

Simon must have looked confused because he clarified, “Military Police.”

“What happened to the survivors?”

“Prison for most of them. One of them, the ringleader, managed to get away. Probably had help.”

“And you recovered,” Simon said.

“Fit as a fiddle,” he said with a smile, though for the first time since Simon had met him, it didn’t reach his eyes. He might have recovered physically, but Simon doubted he’d gotten past the betrayal, because he could see the darkness that lingered in Jace’s gaze.

“They betrayed you,” Simon whispered.

“Yeah,” he said simply.

Simon’s nerves felt scraped raw by Jace’s story. The simple solution would have been to just remain silent, but he couldn’t. It was like what Jace said earlier – what he’d given Simon was a gift.

One that Simon wasn’t about to squander.

So, before he knew it, Simon was giving Jace another piece of himself when he admitted something only a few people in his life knew.

“It happened to my father too, but he didn’t walk away from it.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jace didn’t tell Simon his story to get Simon to tell his, but he liked knowing Simon trusted him enough to share the truth with him. Yes, he already knew the details, but he had no idea how it had affected him. And while it wasn’t a necessary part of the job he was tasked with, he was done kidding himself.

Simon wasn’t a job anymore.

He’d known that even before he’d deliberately bumped into him at the benefit. But he hadn’t had the balls to admit it. Of course, admitting it now solved nothing.

“Will you tell me about it?” Jace asked when Simon seemed reluctant to continue.

“I barely remember him.” Simon said softly. “But I miss him. That’s crazy, isn’t it?”

Simon was still holding onto Jace’s hand with both of his, so Jace pulled one up to his lips and brushed a kiss over Simon’s knuckles. “Not even a little bit.”

“He was a cop. He and my dad had been together for a few years when they decided to have me.”

“Your dad is the one who started the investment firm you work at?” Jace asked. “The one you mentioned in your speech tonight?”

Simon nodded. “Magnus. I call him Dad and the other Pop. His name was George.”

Jace nodded, urging him to continue.

“Pop and Dad were overjoyed when they found me. Anyway, same-sex marriage wasn’t legal at the time, but they’d been together a long time… Pop was older and he told Dad that someday there’d be a time when the world caught up and the second it did, he’d get down on one knee and pop the question. But until that day came, my dad would pester Pop about where not to do it – like on the kiss-cam at a basketball game or something. It was a running joke between them,” Simon quickly added.

“I bet that’s exactly the kind of place he would have done it,” Jace said gently.

Simon laughed. “That’s what Dad would always say.” Simon dropped his eyes momentarily before saying, “Those were the hardest times, you know? When he’d see or hear something that would remind him of Pop and he’d get caught between wanting to remember and wanting to forget.”

It was Jace’s turn to toy with Simon’s hand in an attempt to soothe him.

“After Pop… after he died, my dad found it.”

“Found what?”

“The ring,” he whispered. “He was going through Pop’s stuff trying to pick out a suit for him to be buried in and he found it in the pocket of the jacket Pop was planning to wear the following weekend when they celebrated their anniversary. It was inscribed with the words _No more waiting_.”

Simon’s voice thickened as he pulled one hand free of Jace’s and wiped at his eyes. “He was tired of waiting for the world to catch up.”

Jace nodded because, for once, he was having trouble coming up with the right words to say. His own throat was tight with emotion.

“My dad put the ring on and hasn’t taken it off since.” Simon took a moment to gather his emotions and then said, “Pop was shot while responding to a home invasion. He had the suspects pinned down, but he was running out of ammo. His backup never showed, even though he called in several times saying he needed help. Even after he got hit with the first bullet, those,” – Simon’s eyes filled with tears and his expression twisted into one of helpless rage – “those fucking assholes wouldn’t come!” He wiped angrily at his face. “Dad used to tell me how much Pop loved his job, despite all the homophobic pricks who wanted him off the force. He just wanted to protect people, to have their backs. Even when no one had his.”

Simon managed to calm down enough to say, “He didn’t even have a partner because the asshole he’d been mentoring was too much of a fucking coward to stand up to the blue wall.” Simon shook his head angrily. “You want to know the worst part? That cop… my father’s partner” – he sneered that last word – “is a fucking hypocrite! He’s gay. Yeah. He’s in a relationship with two guys and has two kids. And he’s the captain of the same precinct that let my father die.”

The venom directed at Hodge Starkweather didn’t surprise Jace in the least, and part of him even felt some rage on Simon’s behalf. But he also knew how young and scared Hodge must have been back then. Jace had done enough research on the man to know that it had just been him watching out for his younger sister who’d been dealing with her first bout of leukaemia at the time. Jace had been about Hodge’s age when he’d finally found the courage to come out to his own parents, and it hadn’t been a good experience. Luckily, he’d had Alec to lean on.

Hodge hadn’t had anyone, from what Jace could tell.

But he wasn’t here to defend Hodge, and he knew the cop wasn’t expecting him to take up his cause. Hodge already accepted his failure when it had come to George, Magnus, and Simon. There likely wasn’t any coming back from that.

Simon had managed to settle down. “Thank you for telling me that,” Jace said as he continued to soothe him with his touch. It seemed to work because he eventually smiled and instead of releasing Jace’s hands again to dash at his damp eyes, he bent his head and lifted his arms to wipe his face on his biceps.

“Sorry, I guess that wasn’t exactly easing you into it either, huh?” he said with a chuckle.

Jace laughed and said, “Easing is overrated. Sometimes you just need to go in hard and fast.” Jace gave him a lecherous wink, which caused him to bust out into a huge laugh that Jace felt all over his body. He loved that Simon didn’t even care that everyone was looking at them as they both laughed so hard they were nearly in tears. When they both finally settled, Jace said, “So why the investment firm? Is it the nerd thing?”

Simon relaxed and tugged his hands free when the waitress appeared with their food. He waited until she was gone before snagging a piece of bacon from his plate and taking a hefty bite. If watching him laugh was freeing, watching the pleasure that sifted across his features as he ate was practically orgasm-inducing. God, what would he look like in the throes of passion? He wouldn’t be able to hide anything from Jace.

“No, I mean, I like numbers and stuff, but it just kind of made sense, I guess. My dad’s partner in the business was planning on retiring and I knew my dad wanted me to take his place, so it just kind of happened.”

“And the foundation?”

“I guess it was a way of remembering my father. Of not losing myself in the unfairness of it all. All he ever wanted to do was help people. Even the night he died, he was still protecting the people who lived in that house. When he ran out of bullets, he went after the guy with his fists long enough that the victims could make a run for it.”

“A hero to the end,” Jace said. “Not a bad guy to want to emulate.”

“No, not at all,” Simon agreed.

“So, do you love it?” Jace asked. “The investment banking stuff? Like you do the foundation?”

Simon didn’t seem surprised by Jace’s observation.

“Truth?” he asked.

Jace didn’t bother telling him he always wanted Simon to tell him the truth, since that would have made him the biggest hypocrite in the world, so he merely nodded.

“I don’t really know what my dad was like before he lost my father, but growing up, he just seemed like this machine to me, at least when it came to work. Don’t get me wrong, he always made time for me, but he also worked himself to the bone. When I was a kid, he actually took me to work with him. There are pictures of him on conference calls while he’s holding me in his arms. The firm, it had always been successful, but after my father died, it just kind of expanded even more. I think my dad needed that.”

“What, the success?”

Simon shook his head. “Not exactly. It was like he needed to keep moving and even though the success meant more and more money, I think it was the endless work that kept him going. As I got older and became more independent, he just lost more and more of himself in his work. I felt like…”

When he didn’t continue, Jace said, “You felt like you were losing him.”

“Yeah,” Simon said, his voice softening. “So, I started asking questions about his business. It was a safe topic for us, you know? He didn’t talk about my father much and it was hard for him to sit still long enough to talk about what I was up to. But as soon as I asked about his work, the floodgates opened. Within a matter of weeks, I was interning at the firm after school and over the summer. And even though I didn’t love it, I didn’t care, because I got him back.”

Jace nodded in understanding. “That was all that mattered to you.”

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh as he picked at his food. “He took an early retirement about six months ago, so most of the responsibility is on me now. He’s trusting me not to let it fail, you know?”

Jace didn’t respond to that, but he did know. Because that simple statement answered a lot of questions for him. Simon’s connection to his dad had gotten wrapped up in the business and Jace doubted either man even saw it. If Simon’s fear of failing his father was as great as he suspected it was, it explained why letting go of even a fraction of the iron grip he had on his need for control was so hard for him – and why he needed it so very badly. So many years of being afraid to fail the one constant in your life was bad enough, but Simon was just as worried about failing the father he’d hardly had the chance to know.

Since the topic of his parents was bringing him down, Jace changed the subject to safe ones and began peppering him with the more basic questions two people typically went through when they were on a first date. Jace easily answered every question Simon lobbed back at him and only hedged on the ones relating to his work. But even a lie by omission was enough to sour the food in Jace’s stomach. When it came time to pay the bill, it took only a single, firm, no-nonsense command for Simon to put his wallet away. Jace paid the bill and then took Simon’s hand in his before leading him from the diner. As they headed for the waterfront, the conversation became easy and light and Jace liked how Simon became freer with his words and his body. He leaned into Jace as he spoke, he flirted here and there, and even when he fell into a thoughtful silence, he stayed with Jace by stroking his thumb over Jace’s or giving his hand an extra squeeze.

It wasn’t until they ended up in a busy ice cream shop that things changed.

Momentarily.

Since that was all Jace would allow.

It happened as soon as they entered. Jace had dropped his hand long enough to open the door for him, but when he reached for Simon’s hand again with the intent of leading him to the end of the long line, he carefully eased his hand away. At Jace’s questioning look, he said, “It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

If Jace hadn’t seen the pain in his eyes, he’d have thought he was the one who had an issue with the public display of affection in the overly crowded shop. But clearly, he thought Jace was the one who’d have a problem with it.

Jace disabused him of that notion when he snagged Simon’s hand and then gently maneuvered his arm behind his back, forcing his body to press against Jace’s to compensate for the move. Simon’s eyes lit up with a mix of surprise and desire and if they’d been anywhere else, he would have taken things a step further to make sure Simon was getting his message loud and clear. “We good?” Jace asked as he pressed his hips against Simon’s, not caring if they were putting on a show for the rest of the patrons.

Simon managed a nod, but nothing more.

“Good,” Jace said before leading him to the back of the line. He put Simon in front of him and wrapped his arms around his chest. Jace let his mouth nuzzle the side of his neck, then his ear. “We’re going to talk about what just happened later.”

Another nod.

They didn’t speak again until they got up to the counter. Simon eyed the dozens of flavours and asked to try several, but when he looked to Jace expectantly, Jace shook his head and laughed. He dropped his mouth to Simon’s ear and whispered, “You’re going to have to help me out on this one because your eyes have lit up more times than a fucking Christmas tree since we got up here.”

Simon grinned and then whispered his flavour choice in Jace’s ear. Then he discreetly pressed a kiss against it before drawing back. Jace managed to order for both of them, and Simon didn’t argue with him when he paid for the ice cream and collected their cones. They walked along the length of the pier as they ate their ice cream.

By the time they’d reached the end of it, they finished the treats. Before Jace could ask Simon his next question, Simon said, “You’ve got a little ice cream right here,” and then his finger came up to touch a spot on the corner of Jace’s mouth. Before Jace could reach up to take care of it, Simon leaned forward and pressed the gentlest of kisses to the spot. “Thank you, Jace,” he said right before he pulled back. “I really needed this tonight.”

Jace was too overwhelmed to speak. How had this man managed to tie him in knots so quickly?

Simon turned and leaned against the end of the pier and Jace did the same. They didn’t speak as they watched a ferry cross the bay and dock. They didn’t talk, but they were still communicating in so many ways. Little touches, the occasional look, a soft smile.

It was during one of those emotion-filled looks Simon sent his way that he held his gaze with Jace’s and when Jace turned toward him, he did the same. Jace saw the moment he knew what Jace was going to do, because his eyes did that thing. But even then, Jace didn’t rush it. No, he just watched him for several beats, then used the back of his fingers to caress Simon’s cheek. He was trembling, but he didn’t move otherwise.

Not to pull away.

Not to lean toward Jace.

He was letting Jace lead… giving Jace the trust that he craved. When Jace finally dipped his head and their lips were nearly brushing, Simon whispered in a rush, “I’m not good at this part.”

His insecurity wasn’t surprising, so Jace paused only long enough to say, “Yes, you are,” and then he covered Simon’s mouth with his. Jace swallowed his gasp of surprise and let his tongue slide into the deepest recesses of Simon’s mouth. He was stiff and unresponsive for all of two seconds, then he was kissing Jace back with all the passion he’d suspected was lying untapped inside of him. His arms curled around Jace’s neck at the same time Jace wrapped his around Simon’s waist. Jace pulled Simon flush against him and not caring who was watching, devoured his mouth as his hands roamed up and down Simon’s body.

Simon was anything but passive during Jace’s sensual assault. No, he was returning every kiss with fervour and when Jace was forced to come up for air, Simon’s lips latched onto Jace’s neck. It was only when Jace heard a discreet cough that he remembered where they were and broke the kiss and forced some space between their bodies. He’d somehow managed to break his promise to himself to wait to taste him until they were some place where they wouldn’t be interrupted.

But holy fuck, it was worth it.

Simon was completely oblivious to their surroundings as he fought to catch his breath. His hands were pressed against Jace’s chest and he had no doubt Simon could feel the desperate pounding of his heart. “You said you weren’t going to do that tonight,” he managed to get out.

“It’s not tonight anymore, Simon. It’s after midnight, which means it’s tomorrow.”

Simon chuckled and dropped his forehead to Jace’s shoulder. Jace put his hand against the back of Simon’s neck and pressed a kiss against his temple. “What were you saying about not being good at that part?” He didn’t answer, just shook his head. But Jace wasn’t willing to simply let it go, so he whispered into Simon’s ear, “If you get any better at that, you’re going to send me to an early grave.”

Jace could feel Simon smiling against him. When he pulled back, his eyes were bright with emotion. “Jace,” he said softly.

Just his name, but it was enough. It was the same as when he’d said his name for the first time back at the hotel. Jace could hear the unspoken question just as surely as if he’d yelled it into Jace’s ear.

“Are you sure, Simon?” Jace asked. As badly as Simon needed him to take control, there were some things he just needed to hear him say. Once they’d been together longer, Jace knew that wouldn’t be the case…

The thought dropped off as cold reality intruded. There would be no together after he found out who Jace really was.

And he would find out.

Because Jace _was_ going to tell him.

“Never been surer of anything. But… but I need it to be like it was at the hotel.”

And there it was, in no uncertain terms.

“Where do you live?”

Simon gave him the address and he realized it was within walking distance. But Jace was far too impatient. If he only had a few hours left with this man before he had to tell him who he really was, then he was going to take full advantage of it. “Your keys,” Jace said as he held out his hand. Simon dug his keys out of his pocket and handed them over without question. “Which one is for your apartment?” Jace asked.

“This one.” He pointed to it and Jace nodded before sticking the keys in his pocket. Since it was too far to walk back to the hotel to get their cars, he said, “We’ll take a cab.”

“Can we stop by the bathroom? I need to wash my hands.”

Jace nodded, though he suspected what Simon really needed was a moment to himself. Part of him didn’t want to give it to him in case he changed his mind, but the other part knew that this decision was something Simon couldn’t be regretting at any point. Jace led him down the pier and waited near the railing while he went into the public bathroom. It was a single bathroom, so Jace didn’t have to worry about him encountering anyone in there.

Jace wasn’t as lucky, because as soon as Simon disappeared inside, a familiar voice said, “What are you doing, Jace?”

Jace didn’t bother looking at the man he knew was behind him.

“You were watching, Alec,” he said to his brother. “You know what I was doing.”

His brother leaned against the railing next to him. “This is dangerous,” he said. “There are other ways to get close enough to him to keep him safe.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Jace murmured. It stung to know that his brother disapproved of what he was doing, but he couldn’t explain the pull Simon had on him, so how was he supposed to explain it to the man he’d idolized his entire life? The man who’d protected him from his father’s fists? The big brother who’d shown up in that darkened alley just like his assailants had known he would?

“Then why?”

Jace looked at Alec. “Does it matter?”

“No, I suppose not,” he responded.

Jace let his eyes rake over the brother who he hardly recognized anymore. Physically, he hadn’t changed much since they’d left the military. If anything, he was a little more heavily built than he had been, probably from all the extra hours he spent in the gym trying to burn off the rage and guilt he was feeling about the events of that night in the alley more than two years ago. But little else about him was familiar.

Though Alec was older, he’d never been an overly demonstrative kind of guy, but the coldness was new and something Jace would never get used to. He never smiled anymore, never interacted with him beyond talking about the information relating to the cases they worked for Raphael together. They’d never talked about the night of the attack, and even after two years, he spent every free moment trying to find the single assailant who’d gotten away. The Alec he’d known growing up would have wanted to know what Jace was feeling – what Simon was making his feel – but this Alec wouldn’t care.

Because this Alec could no longer feel.

Jace decided to change the subject and said, “Anything?”

Alec had been following them from the moment they’d left the hotel. Jace had planned it that way in order to give Simon more of his attention so he could build a rapport with him. But the plan had never been to get _this_ close.

“No,” Alec said, then he was straightening. “Be careful, little brother,” he murmured before he disappeared into the shadows again. Seconds later, Simon came out of the bathroom. He was visibly nervous as he approached Jace.

“Ready?” Jace asked, fully prepared for Simon to tell him he’d changed his mind about what was about to happen.

“Ready,” he said softly, then lifted his head just a little. Jace happily gave him what he wanted and settled his mouth on Simon’s. He kept the kiss relatively tame compared to the one they’d shared at the end of the pier and then took Simon’s hand in his. Alec’s words rang in Jace’s ear, but it didn’t matter. Jace couldn’t be careful because he was already in too deep.

_But I couldn’t bring myself to regret it._


	2. Chapter: 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> 1\. Wow...2 chapters...short & sweet, huh...
> 
> 2\. Please do let me know what you think...

Jace was all over him in the cab and Simon couldn’t have been happier about it. He’d tried protesting at first when Jace had begun kissing him in the back seat and rubbing his hand up and down Simon’s thigh, but when he’d wrapped his fingers around Simon’s neck in a gentle grip and ordered him to keep his eyes on him, Simon had forgotten all about the cab driver.

Simon hadn’t been able to keep his eyes on Jace, but only because he couldn’t keep them open. The things Jace was doing to him just felt so damn good.

Simon had been kissed by a few guys over the years, but nothing they’d done compared to what Jace was doing to him. It felt like his entire body was on fire.

But the best part?

Simon didn’t have to fucking think.

About anything.

His mind was solely focused on Jace and pleasing him by giving him what he wanted. Another guy might have taken advantage of that, but Jace just turned it around and gave it all right back. Everything he did, everything he said, was about Simon.

About pleasing him.

About taking care of him.

He whispered things in Simon’s ear that no one had ever said to him before.

Like how beautiful he was.

Like how he couldn’t wait to watch Simon come apart in his arms.

Like how lucky he was that he’d found Simon tonight.

“Jace, please,” Simon whispered against Jace’s mouth when his hand once again bypassed Simon’s dick. He’d been running his hand all over Simon, but ignoring the part that needed his touch the most.

“Soon, baby,” Jace murmured, then kissed him gently. His hand stopped roving and Simon wanted to protest the loss, but he didn’t want to risk losing the touch of Jace’s lips too. When he stopped kissing Simon a moment later, Simon tried to follow him. “We’re here, Simon,” Jace said softly before taking his hand and leading him from the cab. Simon barely managed to greet his doorman as they made their way into the building, and judging from the surprised look the man gave him, Simon figured he probably looked like he’d actually gotten fucked in the back of that cab.

But he couldn’t find it in him to care.

Once they were in the elevator, Jace was on him again. His desperation to consume Simon drove Simon’s need higher and higher and he was pretty much a puddle of goo by the time they reached his floor. If Jace hadn’t been leading the way, Simon doubted he would have even been able to find his own damn apartment. The second Jace got them inside, he slammed the door shut, tossed the keys to the floor and then pressed Simon up against the door.

White-hot heat flared through Simon when Jace’s fingers wrapped around his wrists and he pinned Simon’s arms to the door. Jace ground his cock against his and grated out, “Feel that? That’s all for you. You’re going to fit me so good, Simon. Like you were made just for me.”

Simon managed a nod.

“Say it,” he ordered harshly.

His tone had Simon’s need spiking to astronomical proportions. He was never going to last at this rate.

“Just for you,” Simon said in a rush.

“Who do you belong to tonight, Si?”

The nickname had Simon groaning out loud. “You, Jace. Only you.”

“You want my cock in that tight ass of yours, my boy?”

Simon nodded vigorously, since he wasn’t sure he was even capable of speaking.

“Say it,” Jace demanded. His hold on Simon’s wrists was unforgiving and Simon loved every second of it.

“Yes!” Simon nearly shouted. “God, yes, I want it,” he admitted. Emotion bombarded him as the need to give in completely warred with the voice in his head telling him he shouldn’t be craving the rough treatment.

“Baby, open your eyes.”

Simon did as he said.

_When had I even closed them?_

“Look at me.”

Simon shook his head. “Can’t,” he ground out.

“Look at me, Simon.”

There was no room in his voice for argument, so Simon did. His hold hadn’t eased on Simon even a little bit, which he was grateful for.

“It’s not wrong,” Jace said. “What’s happening here… it’s not wrong. It could never be wrong.”

Simon managed a nod that he wasn’t feeling, but not surprisingly, Jace called him on it. “It doesn’t make you weak or disgusting or a freak.”

Simon flinched at that and turned his eyes away from Jace. But he grabbed Simon’s chin and forced him to look at him again. “Who?” Jace asked. “Who told you it was wrong?”

“No… no one.”

“Who?” Jace asked again.

Simon knew then that he was fighting a losing battle. And despite the fact that his lust had cooled somewhat, it was still there, simmering right below the surface.

“My first boyfriend.”

“What did he say?”

“Jace—”

“What did he say, Simon?”

Simon was a goner when Jace’s hand slipped down to his throat. Shame crawled through him. “I… I always had trouble getting off with him. One day as he was… as we were…”

“Fucking,” Jace supplied.

“Yeah,” Simon said, feeling foolish for not even being able to say the word. “He was behind me and I asked him… I asked him to hold me down by the back of the neck. He put his hand on my neck, but it wasn’t hard enough. I could still…”

Simon shook his head because he just couldn’t say the words out loud.

“Move,” Jace supplied once again.

Simon nodded.

“You couldn’t let go,” Jace added.

Simon could feel the tears stinging the backs of his eyes. “When I asked him to hold me harder, he got mad. He said I was a freak for being into that kind of shit. But I didn’t… I wasn’t…”

Jace sighed and said, “Did you explain to him that you weren’t asking him to cut off your air?”

Simon nodded. “I tried to tell him that it wasn’t like that, but he wouldn’t listen. Said I need to find some other sick fuck to do that shit to me. I think he thought… that I wanted… God, fuck,” Simon whispered harshly. He tried to pull free of Jace’s hold as the humiliation washed over him, but Jace refused to let him go.

“He thought you wanted to play out a rape fantasy,” Jace murmured.

“I didn’t!” Simon practically shouted. “I know some people like that, but that isn’t it—”

Jace kissed him long and hard. “I know that, and I know you aren’t looking for breath play, either. You want to just be able to feel. You want someone to take away that noise in your head for a while.”

“He was right,” Simon whispered.

“He was a fool,” Jace shot back, his voice tipped with anger. “What you want isn’t wrong, Simon. Just like it isn’t wrong that I think it’s fucking beautiful. Let me prove it to you.” He kissed Simon again, gently, almost reverently. Simon kissed him back and hoped it was answer enough.

Jace released his throat only long enough to pin Simon’s arms over his head with one hand before he returned his other hand to his neck. Jace kissed him hard as he applied just the right amount of pressure to Simon’s windpipe. The fear of failure instantly drained from Simon’s body and he drew on the strength of Jace’s fingers that were pressing into his skin. He had no idea how long Jace kissed him for, but his lust came rushing back to the surface within seconds. When he began squirming against Jace to try to brush their cocks together, Jace growled one simple order that had Simon’s dick leaking in his pants.

“Don’t.” When Simon instantly stopped moving, he continued, “Simon, if at any time you want me to stop, you simply say the word stop. Do you understand?”

Simon nodded because he knew what Jace was doing, why he was bringing it up. It was a safe word. The very fact that he felt the need to have one both excited and humiliated Simon.

“It’s only because I’m still learning what you need,” Jace explained. “I know that isn’t the kind of relationship you’re looking for.”

The realization that Jace knew what he was thinking was both comforting and embarrassing. He’d never been drawn to the sexual lifestyle that included using pain to bring pleasure, and he had absolutely no desire to call Jace sir or master or any other title that put a label on what they were doing.

“I don’t want that kind of a relationship, either,” Jace murmured against Simon’s mouth. “But I want you to know that giving up control doesn’t mean you have none.”

“Okay,” Simon said. “I trust you, Jace.”

He smiled. “I know you do, baby. I’m gonna take good care of you and you’re going to do the same for me, okay?”

Simon nodded, then kissed him. He was beyond talking. He was done obsessing over all of this. He was ready to do what Jace was giving him permission to do.

_Just feel._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It took just minutes to get Simon back into the headspace he was craving. Jace wanted to kick the ass of the guy who’d made Simon believe that him wanting rough sex and a little bit of dominance/submission play was the same as a full-on BDSM encounter. While there was nothing wrong with the latter for those who enjoyed that kind of sexual play, it was nothing like what Simon wanted. At best, he was looking for someone he could give his choices away to long enough that his brain could focus on the pleasure. But instead of trying to figure out how to take the gift Simon had given him, the fucker had twisted it into something ugly that had undoubtedly stayed with Simon through every sexual encounter and relationship that had followed.

He and Simon were both breathless when Jace released his mouth, then his hands. He kept his one hand on Simon’s throat as he held his gaze.

“When I release you, I want you to take off your clothes, then mine. I’m going to touch you while you do it, but you don’t get to touch me any more than is absolutely necessary. Do you understand me?”

Simon swallowed hard and nodded. His pulse was thrumming beneath Jace’s hand. Jace’s dick hurt like a motherfucker, it was so desperate for relief.

Jace dropped his hand and Simon immediately began to work his costume loose. Jace could see that Simon’s hands were shaking, but he suspected it wasn’t just because of nerves. He didn’t help him remove the costume, but as soon as the layers of fabric began hitting the floor, Jace did what he said he would and began touching him.

His body was even better than Jace had imagined. He had a runner’s body. Lean but well-muscled. His skin was slightly paler compared to Jace’s and he loved seeing the contrast of it. When Simon was left with just his underwear, he hesitated for a moment and Jace knew that asshole ex’s voice was in his head again.

“Eyes on me,” Jace said firmly when Simon refused to look at him as his fingers hovered on the waistband. He immediately lifted his gaze and then drew in a deep breath. Then the underwear was gone and he stood there nervously, Simon’s eyes never leaving his.

“Keep them on me,” Jace said. “I want you to see what I see when I look at you.”

Jace let his eyes rake over Simon’s body, then followed with his hand. Simon did exactly as Jace asked and kept his eyes on him the whole time.

Until he touched Simon’s cock. Then his eyes slid shut and he let out a ragged moan. He was leaking like a sieve from his dick.

“Open them,” Jace demanded.

Simon’s eyes flipped open.

“Look at the proof of how badly your body wants this,” Jace said. Simon dropped his gaze and watched Jace collect some of his pre-cum on his finger. Jace made sure Simon was watching when he lifted his finger to his mouth and sucked it deep inside. Simon whimpered just as his lips parted. Jace pulled his finger slowly back out, collected more fluid, then lifted it to Simon’s lips. When Simon went to suck Jace’s finger into his mouth, Jace said, “No,” and he promptly stopped. Jace spread the fluid on Simon’s lips, then sealed his mouth over Simon’s. Jace kissed him long and deep, then licked his lips before kissing him again.

A strangled moan tore from Simon’s lips. His arms went around Jace’s neck and Simon leaned into him as he hungrily kissed Jace back. Jace grabbed his ass with both his hands and pulled him forward so their cocks were brushing. It took every ounce of self-discipline Jace had to break the kiss and say, “Undress me.”

Unlike with his own costume, Simon’s fingers moved much more quickly this time around and he managed to follow Jace’s order of not touching him, though from the way his eyes scanned Jace’s body, he knew it was a command Simon wasn’t happy about having to follow. Jace leaned down and whispered into his ear, “You’ll get your chance to play, baby.”

A tremor sifted through Simon’s body and his eyes glazed over. Knowing that he’d already reached a point where he was able to let go of everything but the need to feel had Jace experiencing a sense of pride in Simon that he couldn’t explain. To give in to his need so quickly after years of being made to believe his needs were wrong was a testament to his strength. But Jace knew Simon wouldn’t believe him if he told him that. He’d have to show him instead.

“On your knees, Si,” Jace murmured.

He quickly dropped to his knees, but didn’t go for Jace’s dick like he clearly wanted. Jace carded his fingers through Simon’s hair and said, “You want a taste, baby?”

Simon nodded frantically.

“Say it.”

“Yes, I want to taste.”

Instead of giving him permission, Jace took his dick and pressed the crown against his mouth. Pre-cum streaked across his lips as Jace toyed with him. When Jace pulled back, he said, “Lick your lips.”

He did and then he closed his eyes in pleasure. Jace waited until he opened them again, then said, “Open your mouth.”

His response was instantaneous and when Jace pushed deep into his mouth, he didn’t protest. “Play with me, but don’t make me come.”

Jace barely finished the statement before Simon went to town on his dick. His mouth was heaven and Jace cursed the fact that he was too close to enjoy it for more than a couple of minutes. He withdrew his dick from Simon’s mouth and then hauled him to his feet. Jace kissed him hard, tasting himself on Simon’s tongue. “Do you have condoms and lube in your room?”

“Yes,” Simon said, his breath coming in heavy pants.

“Good.” Jace reached down to grab the backs of his thighs. When he lifted him, Simon automatically wrapped his legs and arms around Jace. Then his mouth was on Jace’s. Luckily his bedroom was easy to find because Simon wouldn’t stop kissing him long enough to maneuver down the hallway. They both ended up laughing a few times when Jace bumped into the walls or hit his elbow on a sharp corner, but the levity was a good thing. Simon was so relaxed that it was like he was a different person than the one who’d stood before Jace and had admitted to being called out as a freak for having needs that might not have necessarily been considered the norm.

Once inside Simon’s room, Jace lowered him to his back on the bed and followed him down. Jace made out with him for several long minutes and then played with his body for a while. He used his mouth and hands to drive Simon wild, but he bypassed Simon’s dick until Simon was literally begging him.

“What do you want, baby?” Jace asked when Simon called his name for the third time.

“I wanna fuck your mouth.”

Jace smiled at the demand. If Simon could only see himself now. Simon had made this assumption that this night would be about Jace controlling him and determining everything they did, but here he was, so lost in what he was feeling that he was making his own demands. Jace doubted he was even aware of it. Jace gave him what he wanted and sucked Simon to the back of his throat, but from the way his cock was pulsing, Jace knew he’d blow if he wasn’t careful. He teased him with light sucks and licks and ignored both his pleas for more and the way Simon was trying to force Jace’s mouth down on his length.

Jace rose to his feet and said, “Condoms, lube.”

“There,” he said, his voice sounding ragged. He pointed to his nightstand drawer. As Jace worked a condom down his shaft, he admired Simon’s body as he lay splayed out for Jace on the bed like the most decadent of dishes. There was absolutely no shame in his expression as Jace watched him.

“Turn over,” Jace said as he reached for the lube. He was so focused on Jace’s dick that it took him a moment to follow the order. “On all fours,” Jace said as he stepped into position behind him. He did what Jace said.

“Spread your legs wider. Show me that pretty hole. Let’s see how badly it wants my cock.”

Simon moaned, but complied. Jace was putting him in the most vulnerable of positions, but he did it without hesitation. His backside was gorgeous and Jace’s mouth watered at the sight of his fluttering entrance. Jace couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and running the flat of his tongue over it. Simon let out a hoarse shout and bucked away from him, but Jace was ready for the move and he grabbed Simon’s hips.

“Jace, what are you—”

His words died off into a strangled groan when Jace licked him again. Simon fought him for another second or two, undoubtedly because he’d never had this done to him before, then he was pressing back on Jace’s mouth. His hand began frantically stroking his dick. Jace reached between his legs to knock his hand away and lifted his mouth from Simon’s hole long enough to say, “Whose cock is this?” Jace gave Simon’s dick a hard tug and he cried out.

“Whose?”

“Yours!”

Satisfied that he wouldn’t touch himself again, Jace went to town on his ass. His plan had been to prep Simon with his fingers, but he knew they were both way too close for that. Jace had to hope his hole was loose enough from the attention he’d given it, because Jace was done waiting.

“Drop your shoulders to the bed, but keep your ass here,” Jace said as he gently slapped Simon’s writhing ass. He groaned and did as Jace said. He got into position between Simon’s legs so that he was standing on the floor while Simon was kneeling on the bed. Jace placed his cock at Simon’s opening and began pushing and was pleased when Simon bore down on him. Jace took his time working himself inside of him, determining his forward progress based on his body’s responses. Simon was moaning and crying out, but none of the noises he made had anything to do with pain or fear. By the time Jace bottomed out, they were both sweating and shaking. Jace’s own control was frayed beyond belief, but he knew he needed to hang onto it a little longer. Simon still needed that last little bit from him – that thing that would truly set him free and show him just how right all of this really was.

Jace began fucking him with slow, easy glides to let him adjust, but when Simon’s inner muscles began clamping down on him, he knew Simon was ready. He reached down to grab both Simon’s arms and pinned them behind his back. Jace used one of his hands to hold them in place, leaving Simon completely at his mercy. But it wasn’t enough.

Jace leaned over Simon’s back and sought out his mouth. “Gonna give you what you need, baby. Gonna show you how beautiful you are like this, how perfect.”

Simon kissed him back. He could see he was really close to that place in his mind where nothing else existed but the need to come.

“Yes,” Simon whispered, his voice heavy with unshed tears. It was proof of how emotionally satisfying this experience was for him.

Jace settled his free hand on the back of his neck. The position meant Simon was supporting a good amount of Jace’s weight as he thrust into him and he was truly helpless. Even if Simon had wanted to, he couldn’t have moved on his own. He was completely at Jace’s mercy.

Jace rocked into him gently a few times to let him get used to the position, then picked up the pace. Simon’s body was so tight around his dick that Jace was sure he’d blow before Simon did. Jace began hammering into him as he added more pressure to Simon’s neck. He also didn’t let up on his hands at all and Jace could feel them flexing between their bodies.

“Is this what you want, my boy?” Jace asked as he began pounding Simon hard and fast. The hold Jace had on him rendered him completely immobile. He couldn’t even move his head.

“Yes!” he cried out. There was no mistaking the tears now because he was practically sobbing as Jace rutted into him. “Please, Jace, harder!” Simon begged. His desperation drove Jace to new heights and his control snapped. Jace slammed into him harder than he probably should have, but his keening cries of pleasure just drove Jace on. Pure pleasure radiated through Jace’s body as the pressure in his balls began to build and build.

“So fucking close,” Jace ground out. He knew he had just seconds left, so he released Simon’s hands and then slid his hand around to the front of Simon’s throat. Jace gripped him hard and pulled him to an upright position so that he was on his knees in front of Jace. His hands came up to grab the arm Jace was using to hold onto his throat, but he didn’t try to free himself.

No, he was clinging to Jace.

“Jesus,” Jace whispered. He reached his free hand around Simon’s front and closed it over his weeping dick. Jace began stroking him hard and fast to match his thrusts into Simon’s body.

He began screaming Jace’s name as he rode the edge of the orgasm, but it wasn’t until Jace whispered, “Come for me, baby,” in Simon’s ear and then gently bit down on the spot where his neck met his collarbone that he shouted in relief. Jace felt his release hit the arm he had wrapped around Simon’s upper body, then it was sliding down his hand. Simon’s sobs of relief tore at Jace’s insides and he came hard and fast. He released Simon’s dick so he could wrap his arm around Simon’s waist to hold him in place while he fucked into him with a final few hard thrusts. The orgasm was blinding in its intensity and there was a point where Jace felt like he was going to pass out. It had to be at least two full minutes before Jace came back to himself enough to loosen the hold he had on Simon’s neck. He sagged against Jace’s arm and Jace carefully lowered him to the bed, then followed him down until most of his weight was pressing Simon into the mattress. They were both still breathing hard, but Jace managed to press gentle kisses into his skin wherever he could reach without having to release him.

Time slowed after that. They somehow managed a shower together before falling into his bed. No words were spoken, but he knew neither of them needed them. Their bodies had said it all and then some. Simon was asleep within minutes of Jace turning out the light on his nightstand. Jace had no clue how long he managed to keep his eyes open as he enjoyed the press of Simon’s body against his, but when Jace next became aware of his surroundings, it was still dark outside and he was alone in bed. Jace glanced at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was four in the morning. He went searching for Simon and found him working on his computer in the living room. He didn’t miss the tension in Simon’s shoulders. He was writing notes on a small notepad.

“Simon?”

He startled briefly, then turned to look over his shoulder at Jace. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

Jace shook his head. “No, just missing you,” he said truthfully.

Simon smiled at that and said, “Sorry, I just had to check something for work.”

“Everything okay?” Jace asked as he took in his pinched features.

“Um, yeah… no…” He shook his head and laughed lightly. “Sorry. It’s just, some money went missing from this client’s account and it’s just this big, fucked-up mess.”

Jace stiffened at his words as he realized he very well could have just inadvertently given him the information he needed. Before he could question him further, Simon closed the laptop and set it and the notebook on the coffee table. “Let’s go back to sleep,” he said. “I can look at it with fresher eyes in a few hours.”

Jace nodded and held out his hand to him. Simon took it and walked around the couch. There was no hesitation on his part when he kissed Jace. When Simon pulled back a little, it was just to study him for a moment before he wrapped his arms around Jace. He laid his head on Jace’s chest and Jace immediately put an arm around him and then let his free hand stroke Simon’s hair.

“It’s real, right, Jace? What we did last night. This. You feel it too, right?”

“I do, Si,” Jace whispered before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s real.”

Simon nodded. “Good.”

Jace led him back to bed, and even though he needed to sleep, he couldn’t stop himself from making love to Simon again. This time it was slow and gentle and he took him from the front so that he could see the play of emotions in Simon’s eyes. Satisfaction went through him when it became clear that he didn’t need Jace to control their pleasure this time around. Jace knew there would be days when it would be like this and there would be times where it would be like the first time. And he was looking forward to every single one. He just had to figure out how to make it happen.

After Simon fell asleep, Jace eased himself out of bed and went to the living room. He searched out his phone and snapped a picture of the notes Simon had taken about the client with the missing money. He sent the picture to both Imogen and Hodge, then went back to bed. As he pulled Simon into his arms, he debated when to tell him the truth.

Because he needed this job to be over.

_So that what I really wanted to have with him could begin._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was the dreaded morning after. Simon had been awake for almost an hour, but he hadn’t been able to focus on much of anything as he waited for Jace to wake up. He’d spent a little more time working on the Valentine account, but what he’d found had only caused more questions than answers. Add in the fact that he had no clue what was going to happen when Jace walked out of his bedroom, and he was a mess.

The sex the night before and early this morning had been nothing short of a miracle in his mind. He’d never experienced anything in his entire life like he’d felt when he’d come. The fact that he cried like a baby over something as simple as an orgasm should have sent Jace running from the room, but no, he’d stayed. And then Jace had made love to him again.

And he’d said it was real.

It _was_ real.

Simon couldn’t deny it anymore. He didn’t want to.

Whatever Jace had unlocked inside of him was never going to go back in its cage. If he was a freak like his college boyfriend had said he was, then so be it. He’d rather be a freak in Jace’s arms then a normal man outside of them.

He flinched when he heard his bedroom door open, but he stayed where he was, despite the need to flee. If Jace said his goodbyes and just left, he’d deal with it. It would suck, but he’d deal, and he’d at least have the memories of the night before to hold onto for a while… or forever.

But Simon’s fears were waylaid the second Jace stepped into the kitchen and sealed his mouth over Simon’s. He tasted of mint and Simon wondered if Jace had used his toothbrush to brush his teeth, since he didn’t have a spare. He really wanted to believe that he had.

Simon didn’t even know why.

He couldn’t help but smile against his mouth, which caused Jace to smile too. “What?” Jace asked.

“Nothing.”

“Definitely not nothing,” Jace said.

“You’ll think I’m crazy,” Simon replied.

“And?”

That simple question was enough to settle the butterflies dancing around in Simon’s belly.

“I was wondering if you used my toothbrush… I’m kind of hoping you did.”

Jace smiled and swiped his thumb over Simon’s chin. “Hope no more,” he murmured. Then his mouth was back on Simon’s and the passion flared between them. Jace was the one to put some space between their desperate bodies. He shook his head at Simon. “You’re a dangerous man, Simon Bane.”

Simon smiled and motioned over his shoulder. “There’s coffee.”

“Thanks.” Jace sat down next to him at the kitchen table a minute later with a cup of coffee in hand. “Did you figure that stuff out with your client?”

“Sort of,” Simon hedged.

“You want to talk about it?” Jace asked knowingly.

“I haven’t found the money, but I know who moved it from the account. But it doesn’t make sense.”

“Why not?”

Simon hesitated before admitting something he was still struggling with. “It was my dad.”

“Your dad?”

Simon nodded.

“I thought you said he retired.”

“He did – he doesn’t have a hand in the day-to-day operations and even while he was still at the company, he didn’t do account operations. We have people for that. Every employee has a code that gets logged when a transaction is made. My dad’s code is attached to the withdrawal of the money from the account.”

“Did you ask him about it?” Jace asked as he carefully sipped his coffee.

“I’m going to tonight. I’m heading over there later to take my sister trick-or-treating.”

Jace stopped mid-sip and said, “You have a sister?”

Simon chewed on his lip for a moment and said, “Yeah. Madzie. She’s six. My dad adopted her six months ago. He was doing some work for this charity in Europe and he stopped by an orphanage. He met Madzie and just knew that she was meant to be his daughter. Madzie’s had it really hard. If my dad hadn’t found her, she probably never would have gotten out of that orphanage.”

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Jace said. “Is that why your dad retired early? To take care of Madzie?”

Simon nodded. “Madzie can’t speak– she uses this computer to communicate. She’s such a great kid, Jace. Even though she can’t talk, she’s got this personality on her like you wouldn’t believe. It’s been incredible to watch it come to the surface since my dad brought her home. And my dad… he’s finally started to come alive again.”

Jace reached out his hand to cradle Simon’s cheek. He held Simon like that for a moment before saying, “Do you think I could meet them someday? Your dad and Madzie?”

Simon bit into his lip and nodded. “Actually, I was going to see if you wanted to come trick-or-treating with us. Dad’s going to stay home and hand out candy. We could maybe do a late dinner or something afterward.”

Simon hated that he was too afraid to admit what he was really feeling – that he wasn’t ready for this to end yet. But Jace didn’t press him on it. Instead, he said, “I’d love to. How about we stop by my place so I can change and then maybe we can grab lunch?”

“Yes,” Simon said without hesitation. “I’d love that.”

“Good,” Jace said. He gave Simon a quick kiss and then rose. “You mind if I use your shower?”

Simon had no clue what possessed him to do it but he responded with, “Do you mind if I join you?”

“I was pretty much counting on it,” Jace said, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Then no, I don’t mind,” Simon said as he stood up. Jace took his hand and pressed a kiss into the palm before leading him toward his room.

And just like that, Simon lost another piece of his heart to Jace Lightwood.

* * *

Simon watched in wonderment as Jace knelt in front of Madzie and began talking to her like he’d been doing it for a lifetime. There’d been a little bit of nervousness on Jace’s part early in the evening when they’d arrived at Simon’s dad’s house, but he’d adjusted quickly and within minutes of meeting Madzie, he’d picked up on how to interact with her. He’d spoken to her like the regular little girl that she was and not a child with a disability, which was how most people looked at her when they noticed her communication methods. And Madzie had definitely appreciated that because she’d opened up to Jace much more quickly than she normally did with strangers. Simon’s dad had been hovering by Madzie’s side protectively at first, but as soon as he’d realized Madzie was okay with Jace, he’d joined Simon in the kitchen where Simon had been putting the final touches on Madzie’s costume.

Simon wanted to ask his dad about the missing money from the Valentine account, but his dad had accosted him with questions about Jace instead. And when Jace had shot Simon a warm look from where he’d been sitting in the living room talking to Madzie, Simon had pretty much been a goner and his dad had seen it. Simon had no doubt that just as soon as he managed to get him alone, his dad would be peppering him for more information.

Not that he had that much to give, although it was more than he’d had this morning.

During and after lunch, Jace had told him about his family and childhood and more especially his brother. The stories Simon had heard lent themselves to the fact that Jace’s childhood hadn’t been an easy one, and while he hadn’t come right out and admitted it, Simon suspected Jace and his brother had been abused. Between his less-than-perfect childhood and the scars Simon had seen that morning on his body as they’d showered – the remnants of the brutal attack he’d endured two years earlier – Simon was in awe of how grounded the man was. He wondered if a lot of that had to do with his brother, since Alec had been the topic of many of Jace’s stories. Jace had admitted that his brother hadn’t been the same after the attack, but they hadn’t had the time to really talk about it much. It was a topic Simon definitely wanted to come back to, since it clearly was causing Jace a lot of pain.

“I think we cleaned them out,” Jace said as he and Madzie reached Simon where he was standing on the curb. Since most of the houses in his dad’s neighborhood had steps leading up to the front door, many of the homeowners had come down to meet them on the walkways leading from the sidewalk to the houses to give Madzie her candy after she used her computer to say, “Trick or Treat.” For those few people that hadn’t come to them, Jace had done the most amazing thing. He’d gently picked Madzie up then trotted up to the door with her and then chimed the phrase Madzie’s behalf. Simon had been able to tell just from his sister’s garbled laugh that she’d loved it.

“Did you get a good haul?” Simon asked Madzie.

“Big time,” came the response from her computer. Simon leaned down to drop a kiss to her head. He’d fallen as in love with his sister just as his dad had, and he lived for these moments where she was just a regular little girl.

“Good,” Simon said. “Let’s go home and see how you made out.”

Madzie held out her hand in what Simon knew was her high-five motion. He gently smacked his palm against hers, then watched Jace do the same. Simon reached for Jace’s hand as they began heading back to the house. He loved that Jace never hesitated to show him affection in public. There were lots of things about Jace Lightwood that Simon was coming to love and he knew it was just a matter of time before he lost his entire heart to him. He had to remind himself that such a thing wasn’t possible, but then he remembered his dad’s words to him when he’d once asked him what it was like to fall in love. Simon had foolishly thought maybe he’d felt that way about his first boyfriend, before the whole freak thing.

_You just know, Simon. I knew with your father the very moment I laid eyes on him. Didn’t matter how many people told me love at first sight was just a myth. I was as much in love with your father on the day he died as I was on the day we met_.

“Thanks for tonight,” Simon said.

“The night’s not over,” Jace reminded him.

“No… no, it’s not,” Simon said with a smile.

It took just a few minutes to round the last corner before his dad’s house. Simon’s focus was on Madzie as he maneuvered her up the walkway, so he didn’t notice the car and the man standing next to it at first. But when he did, Simon recognized him instantly and came to a grinding halt.

Hodge Starkweather.

“What are you doing here?” Simon asked as the familiar cold went through him. His father was dead because of this man. He might not have pulled the trigger and he might not have been the one who’d ignored his father’s pleas for help, but he’d condemned him to death just the same.

“I need to talk to you and your father.”

Simon knew he was probably squeezing Jace’s hand too hard, so he turned to send him a silent apology, but found that Jace wasn’t looking at him at all. His eyes were on Hodge and his mouth was pulled into a tight frown.

Worried that he’d figured out who Hodge was and that he might go after the man, Simon started to step between them, but stopped suddenly when Hodge said, “I’m sorry, Jace. It couldn’t wait.”

A chill ran down Simon’s spine when Hodge said Jace’s name. The way he’d spoken to him, it was like… he knew him.

“You two… you two know each other?” Simon asked, though he wasn’t sure which man he was even asking.

“Let’s go inside, Simon. It’s safer to talk in there,” Jace said calmly.

Simon dropped his hand as if he’d been burned.

_Why the hell wasn’t he denying it?_

“No,” Simon whispered, as understanding slowly dawned. “No,” he said again with a shake of his head.

Jace grabbed Simon’s upper arms in a firm hold. “Simon, look at me—”

“No!” Simon spat out as he tore free from him. “How do you know each other?”

Jace was clearly agitated and looked from Hodge to Simon and back to Hodge again. When Hodge nodded, Jace said, “Hodge asked me to keep an eye on you after you were attacked a couple of nights ago. He was worried for your safety.”

Bile crawled up Simon’s throat as he realized what Jace was saying.

“Oh my God,” Simon whispered as he took a step back. Then another. “Oh my God,” Simon repeated dumbly as things began to click into place.

“Simon,” Jace said as he approached him, but the second he touched him, Simon lashed out at him. “Don’t you touch me!” Simon screamed. He hit Jace in the chest, but all it did was hurt the hell out of his hand.

“Simon?”

His dad’s voice broke through the terrible keening sound that was piercing his brain. Then he was there, his strong arms going around Simon. “What did you do to him?” A moment later, he said, “You! What the hell are you doing here?”

Simon forced himself to pull free of his dad’s arms. “Dad, let’s go inside,” he said. His only thought was getting his dad away from the man who’d destroyed their lives with one act of cowardice and the man who’d just destroyed Simon’s heart with his lies. Simon looked around for Madzie and saw that she was still up near the front door. She was clearly upset and confused by what was happening.

“Magnus, Simon, I’m afraid I need to talk to you,” Hodge said.

“Go to hell,” Simon’s dad snapped. “You’ve done enough.”

Simon took his father’s arm and began walking up the walkway, but Hodge’s next words stopped him cold.

“Simon, Valentine is dead. So are the two men who attacked you two nights ago.”

“What?” Simon managed to get out. He could see that Jace was just as surprised by the news as he was.

“Simon, what is he talking about? What men? The ones who vandalized the foundation?” His dad was completely confused, though Simon wasn’t far behind him.

“Please, let’s take this inside,” Hodge implored and Simon finally nodded. There were still a few people out and about, on their way home from trick-or-treating, no doubt. Simon and his father hurried up the walkway to calm Madzie down. Once inside the house, his dad got Madzie settled in her room with her favorite movie. Simon had retreated to one corner of the living room in an attempt to get as far away from Jace as he could. He felt like he was going to throw up.

_He’d lied to me._

The whole thing had been a carefully orchestrated lie.

Simon’s body felt cold so he wrapped his arms around himself.

He couldn’t keep the thoughts out of his head.

_The things I’d said to him. The things I’d let him do to me._

He automatically lifted his eyes to look at Jace – to see if he could see how he’d missed the truth so easily – but he nearly stopped breathing when he found Jace’s eyes on him. And Simon could tell Jace knew what he was thinking.

“It wasn’t, Si,” Jace said softly. “I swear it wasn’t. Not all of it.”

Simon laughed. It was an ugly, almost inhuman sound.

_Was he really expecting the fact that it supposedly hadn’t all been a lie to make me feel better?_

“I don’t believe you,” Simon said simply.

“Talk,” Simon heard his dad say as he re-entered the room. On most days, his dad was a pretty easygoing guy, but Simon had never seen him angrier. If looks could kill, Hodge would be six feet under. Jace probably would, too.

“After Simon was attacked the other night, I was worried that there was something he wasn’t telling me about the whole thing when my officers and I questioned him,” Hodge began.

His dad’s gaze shifted to him. “Was there?” he asked.

Simon nodded. “I told him that I walked in on the guys, but they followed me in. They had a message for me,” Simon said.

My father’s anger slipped away and was replaced with concern. “What message?”

“They told me it was a mistake to steal from someone named Valentine. They said I had three days to get him his money back.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hodge asked. “I could have helped you.”

“Like you helped my father?” Simon asked.

The man instantly paled and Simon felt a surprising pang of guilt.

“Simon,” Jace said. Simon forced himself to look at him, even though it hurt like hell. “I get it, okay?” he said. “Hodge gets it too. He fucked up. But he couldn’t have known what would happen to your father. He was a scared kid who probably has a story just like you do,” Jace said. He glanced at Simon’s dad. “Like we all do.”

Simon wanted to disagree with him, but deep down he knew there was logic to Jace’s argument. It didn’t ease the hurt, but lashing out at Hodge Starkweather didn’t, either. And it didn’t bring his father back.

“I figured I could find out what happened to the money and return it and everything would be fine,” Simon said to Hodge. He looked at his dad and said, “I didn’t find the money, but the transaction to move the money out of the account had your authorization code on it.”

His dad shook his head. “That’s impossible. I haven’t even logged into the system in months.”

“Did anyone have access to your code?” Jace asked.

“No,” my dad said, but then hesitated. “Sebastian… Sebastian did.”

Simon knew who he was talking about almost instantly. Sebastian Verlac had been his dad’s assistant at one point. He’d become a junior Investment Associate after Simon’s dad had retired. But someone at that level had no reason to be accessing an account like the Valentine one. And certainly not with his dad’s credentials.

“Why would he—” His father’s voice dropped off and he frowned.

Simon turned his attention to Hodge. “You said you found Mr. Valentine and his men dead?” Simon asked. “How did you even know to look for them?”

Hodge’s eyes dropped to the ground, which was answer enough. But Jace confirmed it a moment later when he said, “I sent him a picture of your notepad from last night.”

Simon’s knees felt weak and he had to sit down in a nearby armchair. God, he’d been such a complete fool.

“When I got the information from Jace, I began investigating and discovered that Valentine was really a man named Malachi Dieudonne. He had an extensive arrest record including extortion, racketeering, assault, and money laundering. There was an outstanding warrant on him, so I took some officers to the address he used for his account with you. We found his body, along with those of two men fitting the descriptions you gave me, in the garage of his townhouse. It looked like they were ambushed as they were getting out of their car. They probably never saw it coming.”

Hodge’s gaze shifted to Simon’s dad. “I’d like to put you and your family in protective custody until we figure out what happened. There’s a possibility that the deaths had nothing to do with the missing money, but it’s not worth taking a chance.”

Simon saw his dad nod. “Yes, alright.” Simon knew how hard it must have been for him to accept the offer, but he had bigger priorities than his hatred of Hodge Starkweather.

“Good, I’ll—”

That was as far as Hodge got before a computerized voice interrupted with a simple, “Daddy.” Before his dad could go check on his sister, Madzie rounded the corner from the hallway leading to her room.

But his little sister wasn’t alone.

No, standing right behind her with a gun pointed at the little girls head was Sebastian Verlac, his father’s former assistant.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The entire room went completely silent at the sight of the man holding the gun to Madzie’s head. The girl was clearly confused and agitated. She kept trying to move, but Jace knew the man had too tight of a hold on her shoulder.

“Sebastian, what are you doing?” Magnus croaked. Magnus was standing next to Jace. Jace grabbed his arm as soon as he started heading for his daughter. Sebastian ignored Magnus and pointed his gun at Hodge, who’d been discreetly trying to go for his own weapon.

“No guns!” Sebastian shouted, his voice high and shaky. “Drop it!”

If Jace had been armed, he could have taken him out then and there, but he hadn’t wanted to risk Simon discovering a weapon on him, so he wasn’t carrying one. He hadn’t really needed it, since he’d had Alec to back him up.

The thought of his brother had him desperate to reach his phone. He hadn’t seen him out on the street when Hodge had arrived, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been watching. If Jace could activate his phone and speed dial him, Alec would be able to hear the conversation that was happening. But Jace’s plan went up in smoke when Sebastian said, “Phones, too! Everyone drop their phones.”

One by one, they tossed their phones toward the center of the room where Hodge had dropped his gun. Jace suspected he had one at his ankle too, but it would be harder to get to, and since Sebastian was so shaky, chances were his own gun would go off if he was even remotely startled.

“Madzie, Daddy and the grown-ups need to talk. Can you be real quiet for a little while and then we’ll go through your candy?”

Madzie’s uncoordinated hand reached out to press the touchscreen of her computer. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Sebastian, what are you doing here?” Magnus asked as calmly as he could. He had his hands up.

The sound of Magnus’ voice talking to him did something strange to Sebastian. It actually seemed to relax him and he smiled at the man. “Magnus, I’m sorry it had to be like this, but I didn’t have a choice. I… I wanted to give you more time, but things fell apart and I’ve done something and we have to go now.”

Magnus’ eyes shifted briefly to Hodge, then Simon. “What are you talking about, Sebastian? Can you put the gun away? It’s scaring Madzie and I know you don’t want that.”

The comment actually seemed to register for Sebastian because he nodded and dropped his hand to his side. “I’d never hurt your little girl Magnus. You know that.”

His statement was in direct contrast to the fact that he still had the gun that was scaring her. Jace just couldn’t tell if it was intentional or not. It didn’t really matter, since one slip of his finger and the thing would go off.

“I packed her things, Magnus. But we need to go.”

Sebastian motioned to a backpack strapped to his back. Between the way Sebastian’s eyes were glazed over and his demeanor, Jace knew he wasn’t right in the head. Which made him even more dangerous. Jace glanced at Hodge and he nodded subtly. He’d noticed the same things Jace had.

“Go where?” Magnus asked.

“Wherever you want, Magnus,” Sebastian said. “I’ve got lots of money now. You don’t have to worry anymore. I can take care of you and Madzie, too.”

Jace could hear the helplessness in Magnus’ voice as he said, “I don’t understand, Sebastian.”

Sebastian grew even more frustrated and waved his hand impatiently. Magnus and Simon gasped at the same time. “We can finally be together!” Sebastian declared.

“Dad,” Simon cut in before Magnus could say anything else. “It’s like you wanted, Dad” Simon said softly. “Sebastian feels the same way as you. Isn’t that right, Sebastian?” Simon asked the man. “You love my dad, right? You took that money so you and he could finally be together, after all these years.”

Sebastian nodded eagerly. He turned his adoring eyes to Magnus. “I wanted to tell you so many times,” he whispered.

Magnus had finally caught on. “I know, but it was never the right time.”

“No,” Sebastian agreed. “I… I killed those men, but I don’t know who else knows. So we have to go.”

“Okay, but can you come to my room with me and help me pack? I’m not sure what I need to bring.”

“No, I have to take care of them,” he said as he waved his gun at the rest of them. His gun landed on Hodge, but when his finger went for the trigger, Magnus stepped between the two men.

“Dad,” Simon cried out, but Magnus managed to ignore him.

“They’re not going to tell anyone, Sebastian,” Magnus said patiently. “They want this for us.”

Sebastian shook his head. “No, I’m in trouble.”

“No, you’re not,” Jace cut in. “Everyone here knows why you did it. To protect Magnus. To take care of him. You can’t get in trouble for hurting someone to protect someone.”

Sebastian looked at Jace in confusion as if he was really considering his words. He suddenly raised his hand that was holding the gun and hit his temple with it. “No!” he snapped. Jace saw the emotion leave his eyes the second his gaze settled on Simon. “You did this! You told them about me!” And just like that, Sebastian dropped his arm and aimed at Simon with a suddenly steady hand.

“No!” Jace screamed as he lunged for Sebastian, but he knew he was too far away to reach him. The gun went off and then, almost instantly, he fired again. But the recoil from the first shot caused his aim to go wide and Jace managed to throw all his weight against Magnus, knocking him to the ground before the second bullet could hit him. Pain seared across Jace’s bicep, but he ignored it and staggered to his feet. Sebastian was already pulling the trigger again, the gun aimed square at Madzie, when a pair of hands appeared behind the man. Just as Magnus screamed his daughter’s name, Alec’s hands wrapped around Sebastian’s throat and in one swift move, he twisted Sebastian’s neck until there was a sickening, cracking sound. Sebastian’s body crumpled to the floor, the gun falling to the ground next to him. Magnus scrambled to his feet and rushed to Madzie, who was making what Jace could only describe as screaming sounds. The little girl’s hands shot up quickly to cover her face as her father gathered her in his arms.

Jace frantically climbed to his feet and turned to check on Simon. Jace’s heart nearly stopped at the sight of the two motionless bodies in the corner of the living room. “Simon!” Jace screamed as he stumbled across the room. Hodge’s body was lying on top of Simon’s and there was blood pouring from a wound on his upper back.

Jace was just reaching for Hodge when he saw Simon move. “Help me get him up, Jace,” Simon croaked as he tried to maneuver Hodge’s body.

The relief at hearing Simon’s voice was palpable, but he couldn’t dwell on it. He eased his arms under Hodge’s shoulders and helped Simon lift him. More blood poured from the wound. “Let’s lay him on his side,” Jace said. Simon worked to free his legs from beneath Hodge’s body, then he was kneeling next to the fallen man. His eyes searched out his dad and sister and Jace heard him let out a rush of air when he saw they were unharmed.

Alec appeared at Jace’s side a moment later and helped hold Hodge in place while Jace pressed his hand against the bullet wound. “Feel for a pulse,” Jace told Alec. To Simon Jace asked, “Are you hurt?”

He shook his head. “No, he… just him. Fuck, Jace, he took that bullet for me,” Simon whispered. Simon’s hands were shaking as he said to Alec, “Do you have a phone?”

Alec quickly handed his phone over before saying to Jace, “He’s got a pulse. There’s a wound on his head – looks like he might have caught the edge of that end table as he was going down. Could explain why he’s out.”

Simon’s voice was panicked as he spoke into the phone. “Um, yes, we need help. There’s been a shooting at my house. There’s a police officer here. He got shot. His name is Hodge Starkweather.” He choked back a sob and said, “Can you get someone here right away to help him? Please?” Jace wanted so badly to comfort Simon and to assure him Hodge would be all right, but he couldn’t risk taking his hands off Hodge’s wound. The blood seemed to be slowing, and shortly after Simon hung up the phone, Hodge moaned.

“I’ll call Raphael,” Alec said as he took his phone back.

“Hodge, can you hear me?” Simon asked as he used his sleeve to wipe at some blood that was trickling down Hodge’s forehead from the cut along his temple.

“Simon!” Magnus called and then he was at their sides, Madzie in his arms. The little girl looked so stunned in her father’s hold, but she wasn’t crying anymore.

“I’m okay, Dad,” Simon said as his father embraced him.

Magnus was completely panic-stricken as his eyes raked over his son, then his daughter. It was only then that he managed to take a breath.

“Jace,” Jace heard Hodge say.

“Yeah, I’m here, Hodge. Lie still, okay? You’ve been shot. Paramedics are on the way.”

“Simon?”

“I’m fine, Hodge,” Simon said softly and put his hand on Hodge’s arm. “I’m right here. Dad and Madzie are okay too.”

“Shooter?” he whispered, his voice full of pain.

“He’s down,” Jace said. “Situation’s been neutralized.”

Hodge managed a nod. “My phone. I need to talk to my husbands. They’ll worry.”

Simon scrambled up and got Hodge’s phone. He entered the code Hodge told him and then found the contact Hodge wanted. He put the phone on speaker and held it to Hodge’s mouth.

“Hey, baby, where are you?” came a man’s voice.

“Andrew, I’m okay,” Hodge rasped.

There was a split-second of silence before the man said, “I’m coming, Hodge. Where are you?”

“Baby, I’m okay, I swear it. Call Raphael – he’ll know where they’re taking me, and have your brother drive you and Lorenzo, do you hear me? I don’t want you guys driving while you’re upset. Do it for me.”

The man – Andrew – let out a breath and said, “Don’t you fucking die on us, do you hear me, Detective?”

Jace saw a small smile grace Hodge’s pained mouth and he had to wonder if it was because of the “Detective” comment.

“It’s Captain, asshole,” Hodge managed to say.

Jace could have sworn he heard Andrew chuckle, but his voice cracked when he said, “We’ll see you soon, okay baby?”

“Yes, you will.”

Simon had tears in his eyes when he hung up the phone for Hodge and Jace had to wonder how much of them were for the intimate moment he’d just been witness to and how much were for the similar call his own father hadn’t been able to make all those years earlier.

Jace saw Magnus hand Madzie to Simon and then he was covering Hodge’s hand with his own. “Thank you,” he whispered brokenly, and then he was wiping at his own wet eyes. “Thank you for saving my boy, Hodge.”

“I’m sorry, Magnus. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been stronger. I should’ve been the cop he thought I was.”

Jace heard Magnus make a strangled sound. “You are, Hodge. You saved his son’s life without any thought to your own. You’re exactly the kind of cop he knew you’d be and wherever he is, I know he’s proud of you.”

Hodge let out a little gasp, but before he could say anything, Magnus said, “Just rest, Hodge. Just rest.”

Jace’s eyes met Simon’s as he whispered soothing words to his brother, but Jace couldn’t see anything beyond the fear and pain and he had no idea what that meant for their relationship.

_If there even still was chance for one._

* * *

The chaos that followed was predictable, but all that really mattered was the knowledge that Hodge would be okay. Raphael had been waiting at the hospital when paramedics had arrived with Hodge and he’d called Jace as soon as he’d had a chance to examine the wounded cop. The shoulder wound wasn’t life-threatening and he’d likely spend the night in the hospital to be monitored for a possible concussion, but he’d already been reunited with his husbands and several other family members.

After a second set of paramedics had treated the gash on Jace’s arm where the bullet had grazed him, Jace refused the offer to be taken to the hospital so he could stay behind at the house to deal with the cops in case Alec was taken in for questioning. But Hodge had managed to call his second-in-command from the ambulance and had told the man that Alec wasn’t to be detained after giving his statement at the scene. Alec and Magnus were still talking to the respective officers interviewing them and Jace couldn’t help but watch his brother’s reactions as he spoke. Jace was mainly worried about him becoming aggressive toward the officer, since it didn’t take much to send his temper flaring. But to his surprise, Alec barely seemed to even be aware of the young cop taking his statement.

Because he couldn’t take his eyes off Magnus.

The older man was being questioned in the kitchen, which was directly in Alec’s line of sight. The officers had allowed Magnus to take Madzie over to a neighbor’s house so that she could get some rest. It turned out that the woman who lived next door was a retired nurse who often babysat Madzie, so the little girl was comfortable in her presence. Simon and Jace had already been interviewed, and Jace had lost track of Simon once he’d gone to Madzie’s room to pack some stuff for his sister for the night.

Jace’s emotions were all over the place as he tried to figure out how to convince Simon he hadn’t lied to him beyond what he did for a living, and that Simon had stopped being a job the instant he’d said Jace’s name at that Halloween party. But Jace knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Simon had taken a big risk in trusting Alec with the things he had and every second Jace had kept the truth from him, he’d been betraying that trust. It didn’t matter that Jace’s motive hadn’t been a malicious one.

“Thank you, Officer,” Jace heard Magnus say, and he watched him shake the young woman’s hand before she left him in the kitchen. Jace knew the man was around the forty-year-old mark, but he didn’t really look it. He was well-built with dark hair that had red streaks in it. When I’d first met him, I’d immediately noticed the thing Simon had been hinting at… that missing spark in his eyes. That spark had definitely been there for both of his kids, but in moments like these where he got lost in himself, Jace had no doubt he was remembering the one part of his life that was missing and always would be.

Jace wouldn’t have understood that before meeting Simon. He knew it was too early to say he loved Simon, but in his heart, he knew it was true. There was just no other explanation for what he was feeling. And he knew if he’d lost Simon tonight, he would have had eyes like Magnus’. Even if Jace wasn’t able to be a part of Simon’s life going forward, knowing he was still alive, still living, would be enough to keep him going. And having that flicker of hope that he could someday be with him again would have to be enough to sustain him.

It broke Jace’s heart that Magnus no longer had that.

Magnus seemed to sense that Jace was looking at him, because he looked directly at Jace and nodded. Jace knew it would probably be a while before the man trusted him if Jace did somehow manage to convince his son to give him a second chance, but he would die trying if the opportunity presented itself.

Magnus straightened and began to head for the front door, presumably to go next door to check on Madzie, but stopped short when he encountered Alec, who was still unabashedly watching him. Jace had no clue how to classify the expression on Alec’s face, but it was definitely throwing Magnus off. The two stared at each other for a long time before Magnus finally said, “Thank you.”

Jace knew he was thanking Alec for saving Madzie’s life, because there was no doubt that Sebastian would have shot the girl during his rampage. Alec didn’t say anything at all. He just held Magnus’ gaze until the man seemed to grow flustered and fled the room. It wasn’t until he was gone that Alec began to get antsy. The cop noticed the switch and seemed to rush through the last of his questions. Jace wanted to laugh because Alec had that effect on a lot of people these days. The past thirty minutes was the longest Jace had seen him sit still in a while.

The idea that it was because of some weird fascination he had with Simon’s father was just strange, so Jace couldn’t go there. But he had to admit, it had been nice to get a glimpse of the old Alec.

Alec came over to him and said, “You’ll be okay?”

Jace nodded. Even if Alec hadn’t liked how Jace handled the relationship with Simon, he knew it was hard for Alec to see him hurting. “Thanks for having good timing, big brother,” Jace said.

Alec smiled, though it didn’t exactly reach his eyes.

“He’s special, huh?” Alec asked.

“Yeah, he is.”

Alec didn’t respond to that, merely nodded and turned away. Jace saw him glance around the house once more, then he was gone. He waited for a few more minutes in the hopes that Simon might come back, but when he didn’t, Jace said his goodbyes to the police and texted Imogen to let her know he was leaving the scene.

It wasn’t until Jace was halfway down the walkway that he noticed Simon. He was leaning against the side of Jace’s car.

Jace ended up slowing his step, because as eager as he’d been for this moment only minutes ago, now he was dreading it. From the way Simon’s arms were crossed and his jaw was set into a firm line, Jace knew Simon wasn’t going to say anything he wanted to hear.

“Have you been out here long?” Jace asked when he reached him. He wanted so badly to take Simon in his arms, but like before the shooting, he had his arms wrapped protectively around his waist.

He shook his head. “Couldn’t go back in just yet,” he said as he nodded at the house. “Are you okay?” he asked as his eyes fell to the bandage on Jace’s arm.

“Barely a scratch. How’s Madzie?”

“Better. She and my dad are fighting over how much candy she’s allowed to eat tonight. They’ll be spending the night next door.”

“And your dad?”

“Spooked. Really spooked.”

Despite Jace’s good intentions to give him the space he so clearly wanted, Jace ended up stepping closer, crowding him back against the car. But he shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching for him. “It was too close,” Jace murmured. “Way too close.”

“You should have told me, Jace,” Simon whispered in a pained voice. “At least we might have had a chance.”

Pain lanced through Jace at confirmation of what he already knew. Simon made a move to step past him, so Jace grabbed his arm and gently forced him back against the car. Jace caged him in with his arms, but he refrained from touching him since he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to let him go if he did.

“Yes, I knew some stuff about you going into this thing, but the only thing I lied about was my job, because it’s not exactly conducive to a first date to tell the guy you’re really hoping will go out on a second date with you that you’re basically a hired gun. And that’s what last night was, Si. A date. An incredibly sweet, fun, perfect date that I never wanted to end. You gave me your trust last night, but I gave you something too. You just didn’t know it.”

“What?” Simon asked softly.

“Me. All of me. The parts I’m afraid to show others, the parts I’m ashamed to admit to, the parts that I’m proud of. I don’t have to pretend to be anything other than who I am with you. I don’t have to worry about sharing my fear that my brother is going to go off the deep end someday because of what happened to me. I don’t have to obsess over you thinking I was weak for not seeing that attack coming and not being able to stop it once it started. I don’t have to wonder if you’ll be the next person who’s going to betray me. You make me feel strong and needed and so fucking… whole.”

Jace leaned down to settle his mouth next to Simon’s ear and said, “You’re not a freak, Simon. You’re fucking amazing and I would have been a lucky son of a bitch to have had the chance to love you.”

Simon let out a little gasp. Jace forced himself to pull back from him, but when he went to turn away, Simon grabbed the sleeve of his uninjured arm hard, bunching the material between his tight fingers.

“I don’t care what I am, Jace,” he murmured as soon as his eyes met Jace’s. “As long as I can still be yours.”

Jace’s heart beat painfully in his chest as he absorbed his words.

_He couldn’t be…_

“Si,” Jace whispered in disbelief.

Simon pushed into his arms and brushed over Jace’s mouth with his.

“Take me home, Jace. You owe me a second date.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**A few weeks later**

“Tell me again what it is you aren’t going to do,” Jace murmured as his hand trailed down Simon’s naked back. Simon was covered in sweat and shaking like a leaf, but he somehow still managed to answer him.

“Come,” Simon gasped, just as he felt the blunt head of the dildo begin to breach him.

Even though it was the first time Jace was using the toy on him, it wasn’t the first time he’d been so close to riding the edge of orgasming and not being allowed to take his pleasure. It was something Jace liked to torture him with often, especially when the noise in his head got particularly loud.

And today it was practically screaming at him.

So Simon wasn’t at all surprised that Jace had spent the better part of an hour blowing, finger-fucking and rimming him until Simon was calling him every name in the book in the hopes Jace would get frustrated and fuck him hard and fast. But the man had nerves of steel.

Something Simon was actually _very_ grateful for, since he hadn’t even once given thought to what he needed to do tomorrow. Simon had been stressing about it for nearly two weeks, and while Jace had tried to reassure him that his dad wouldn’t be angry with him when he told him he had no desire to keep running the investment firm, Simon had still only been able to see the decision as him somehow failing both of his fathers. Jace had done his best to keep Simon on an even keel as Simon waffled back and forth on the decision and when Jace wasn’t drugging him with mind-numbing sex, he was listening to Simon’s every worry and fear and letting him talk it out to his heart’s content. And when it came to other topics that Simon was still trying to navigate his way through, like the peace he was trying to make in his heart with Hodge Starkweather, Jace listened, but he never urged him in one direction or the other.

But Jace clearly had something special planned for today, because the dildo was a new development. It wasn’t very big, certainly nowhere near as big as Jace, but when he’d shown it to him, Simon hadn’t missed the fact that it had a vibrating bullet in the tip.

Simon managed to follow Jace’s instructions and luxuriated in his praise as he pushed the well-lubed dildo in and out of Simon a few times until it was finally seated all the way inside of him. But the second Jace turned the thing on, all Jace’s commands flew out the window and Simon began humping the pillow Jace had pushed under his hips to lift his ass up in the air. Jace’s big hand landed heavily on Simon’s ass and then he was pressed against Simon’s back, his hips pushing the dildo deeper into Simon.

“Did you forget something, baby?” Jace asked, his voice like silk.

“Too good,” Simon ground out.

“You know what this means,” Jace said as he reached his hand between them and began to pull the dildo out.

No fucking way.

_I wouldn’t survive it if he started the whole process over yet again._

“No, Jace, I’ll do better,” Simon vowed as he turned his head. Jace gave him what he wanted and kissed him hard and fast. Then his lips gentled.

“You should see how beautiful you look, Si,” Jace murmured against the shell of his ear. “But you know what, my beautiful boy?”

“Wh… what?” Simon managed to rasp.

“That gorgeous ass still looks too empty.”

Simon groaned as his words sank in. There was no way he was talking about…

Jace chose that moment to up the vibration on the dildo and began thrusting his hips against Simon’s. He reared back and grabbed both Simon’s globes with his hands and used his dick to pump the dildo deeper into Simon. The orgasm began to build in Simon’s balls and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop it, but before he could say anything, Jace released him and turned off the vibration. Simon’s body collapsed in a heap on the bed and it was all he could do to keep dragging in enough oxygen to keep from passing out. Simon heard the snick of the cap on the lube and knew what was coming next.

Simon craved it, even as he feared it a little.

But his trust in Jace was absolute. It hadn’t wavered even once in the weeks since Jace admitted that Simon gave him so many of the very things he gave to Simon.

While their sex life was off-the-charts crazy and alternated between rough quickies in the shower or on his kitchen table to long, drawn-out encounters like the one tonight to slow, sensual lovemaking that took Simon’s breath away every time, their actual “dating life” couldn’t have been more low-key. It turned out that Jace was a homebody like Simon and, more often than not, they sat in front of the television playing Assassin’s Creed, binge-watching shows on Netflix, or losing themselves in cheesy B-rated horror movies that had them laughing out loud more than anything else. They’d spent nearly every single night together, usually at Simon’s place only because it was closer to his work, and when Jace wasn’t working a case, it wasn’t unusual for him to meet Simon for lunch.

It turned out Jace’s breakfast-for-dinner obsession applied to lunch too.

All in all, their compatibility sometimes scared Simon because it was almost too easy. Simon often found himself waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Jace kept reassuring him that even if it did, he wasn’t going anywhere.

And Simon believed him.

Jace’s hand palmed his ass in a gentle caress. “Whose ass is this, baby?” Jace murmured.

“Yours,” Simon said without hesitation. “Only yours, Jace.”

Jace’s hands closed around Simon’s hips so he could draw Simon up so that he was on all fours. Simon groaned when the vibration on the dildo started up again, but the few minutes Jace had given him as he’d prepared himself had allowed Simon’s body to come down a couple of notches. But Simon knew it wouldn’t take much to send him right back to that precipice Jace had him hanging off all night.

Simon felt a slight tug on the dildo as Jace got situated behind him, then his hand came down to rest in the middle of Simon’s back. “Breathe out, baby,” he said gently. Simon eagerly did as he said, even as tension racked his body. A split-second of nothingness passed, then Simon felt it.

Jace’s crown pushing against Simon’s entrance.

_Right beneath the dildo._

“Oh God,” Simon gasped when Jace’s dick pierced his body. The pressure was almost too much, which meant it was just about fucking perfect. Simon’s head spun as his body lit up. The pain turned into the familiar burn, but it lasted only seconds because Jace pushed another inch of himself into Simon. Simon gasped and reached behind him to grab Jace’s thigh. He could feel Jace’s muscles flexing and realized he wasn’t the only one dealing with the strain.

Jace didn’t ask him if he wanted to stop or if he wanted more.

Because he knew.

Just like all the other times that he instinctively knew what Simon needed. Sometimes before Simon did. The shame Simon felt that first night was nonexistent for him now and he refused to try and label what Jace and he did with one another. He wasn’t Jace’s slave and Jace wasn’t his master. But Simon wasn’t just his lover, either. They were so many things to each other and trying to simplify it with a label wasn’t necessary or warranted.

“Halfway, baby.”

Sweat was dripping off Simon’s forehead. He would have guessed that Jace was all the way in, considering how full he felt. Simon’s lungs burned as he tried to breathe through the lingering pain. The good thing was that his dick had softened somewhat, so he wasn’t in any immediate danger of disobeying Jace’s rule not to come.

Simon had no clue how much time passed before Jace’s balls brushed against his. Jace’s fingers were biting into Simon’s hips hard enough that he’d have bruises in the morning, a fact Simon was very, very pleased about.

“Fuck, so tight,” Jace muttered. His hands caressed Simon’s back as he held there for a moment, then they disappeared. Simon let out a hoarse shout when Jace’s dick and the dildo pulled out of him in one slow, fluid motion.

When Jace shoved back inside him, Simon dropped his shoulders to the bed, because his elbows wouldn’t hold his weight anymore. “Jace,” Simon whimpered.

“Just a little more, baby. It’s gonna feel so good when I send you flying.”

Simon might have nodded, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of anything except for how alive his body felt. Like his entire central nervous system had migrated south and was tied to Jace’s cock.

Fast.

Slow.

Hard.

Soft.

Didn’t matter how Jace fucked him – every single way was heaven. Simon’s orgasm began building in his balls.

“Can’t stop it,” Simon managed to whisper.

Part of Simon was actually heartbroken that he wouldn’t be able to hold out any longer, because he wanted to please Jace by following his rules, but he shouldn’t have even worried about it because he leaned over Simon’s back and said, “Don’t fight it, baby. Come for me. Just me.”

In one fluid movement, Jace pulled his dick and the dildo out again and then it was just his dick shuttling in and out of Simon. He didn’t bother going for Simon’s cock, probably because he knew Simon didn’t need his touch there. His weight pushed Simon completely down on the bed and he wrapped his arms around Simon’s chest. His lips pressed against Simon’s neck and then Jace was peppering his skin with gentle kisses.

It was in complete contrast to how hard he was fucking Simon.

Simon almost feared the orgasm that was overtaking him. It just kept building and building and every time Simon was sure he would go over the edge, he didn’t. When he whispered Jace’s name with a measure of uncertainty, Jace was right there to remind him that he had Simon and that Simon was safe to let go. So that’s what he did. He stopped worrying about when he would fly, or if he even would. It didn’t matter. It had never been about the orgasm, anyway. It had been about that moment where Simon could give himself over to someone else and trust them with his safekeeping. It was letting go of the noise in his head and the fear of not being good enough and accepting that those things didn’t matter – they didn’t define him.

Simon was still the same Simon he’d always been.

He was just okay with it now.

He was able to see that the man he’d become was perfect in his imperfections. He was brave despite his fear. He was allowed to fail, even though he rarely did. And he was worth loving, even when it was sometimes hard to love himself.

“Si, you still with me, baby?” Jace asked.

Simon nodded. “Always with you,” he managed to get out.

“Do you love me, Si?”

There was no hesitation as he said, “More than anything.”

The pressure in his balls finally exploded, but not before Jace gave him the last thing he’d ever need. “Do you know how much I love you?”

Simon didn’t answer him as the orgasm washed over him in wave after violent wave, or even when Simon felt Jace’s release begin to burn his insides. It wasn’t until their breathing returned to normal and Jace pulled out of him so he could turn Simon over and cradle him in his arms that Simon finally responded.

“The perfect amount, Jace. You love me the perfect amount.”

Jace smiled and held his gaze for a long time before he gently kissed Simon and then settled his head on Simon’s chest so he could listen to his heartbeat. He was silent as he held Simon that way, but Simon didn’t mind because just like everything else Jace had done for him tonight and every other that had come before it, it was exactly what Simon needed.

_And it was absolutely perfect._

**Author's Note:**

> Please do let me know what you think...


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